When a man thinks that you’re beautiful and asks you to smile, he probably does not intend it to be a full frontal assault on everything feminist and right in the world. You would think that this was a non-issue but recently there has been a backlash against men asking women to smile… I assume the word patriarchy fits in the logic somewhere but it eludes me.
Ladies of the Hall… Does it bother you when men ask you to smile? Well apparently for a large section of female bloggerdom it actually does. So what does this mean for the men who ask of smiles to compliment or break the ice with pretty ladies? Probably nothing, but I’m a sucker for punishment so let’s look into the deeper problem with this question.
“women want us to answer for the sins of our brothers”
What bothers many of the guys out here about this question is that it’s a reminder that women want us to answer for the sins of our brothers. A man in the streets who cat-calls and disrespects women will ask you to smile in order to break down your defenses, but if you don’t take the time to separate him from an interested suitor in a lounge atmosphere who wants to get to know you then it will be easy to make us all into cat-calling losers.
Look, if you’re all about being mad at men and having nothing to do with us then fine – but if it’s your prerogative to act hostile then turn around and lament the fact that men ignore you, then you’ve got to admit that your attitude is a paradox. Men ask you to smile for varied reasons; if it’s offensive then keep it moving, but does it really need to be made into another talking-point to further separate the sexes?
Women Ask Men To Smile Too?
Stop the press! Women ask men to smile? No way does this happen!
I, like many people have been cursed with a face that reads danger if I am not flashing my teeth like a damned fool impersonating the Cheshire cat. My entire life has been one of “smile”, “why don’t you smile”, “I love your smile” from strange women, some being cute, some being unattractive.
There have been times that I happily smiled because I was feeling good but there were other times when I shook my head no and kept it moving. I felt no need to sound the alarm and command the legion of men to fight back against the “oppressive wimenz” and their damn tomfoolery in asking us mean-faces to smile for them.
Hell, I had a woman chase me down in her car (true story) just to pull up next to me at a red light, signal for me to wind my window down, all for her to ask me to smile. Apparently she needed my teeth to make her day better so I gave it to her, she replied with “that’s better” – it took nothing out of me to give that to her.
So when I see all of these articles – particularly by angry women, lamenting the fact that guys ask them to smile, it makes me wonder about the type of person who takes issue with something so innocent. Does this type of person not like men? Do they feel like a man should not speak unless spoken to and should know his place in society? Should men be mind-readers and know the exact time and place when to ask a woman to smile? Or is it the type of men who ask her to smile that’s the problem? Rich… handsome… celebrity… can that guy ask women to smile whenever he likes? I wonder…
Or maybe you just don’t want men speaking to you at all and when we ask you to smile it is like asking someone with a broken leg to dance. I’ve read the arguments and it seems that at the end of the day it boils down to this – it’s not about the smile; it is about the desire to be left alone by men when you go about your business. So why not just say so?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.