Jul 11


First things first, are pick-up lines ever NOT creepy? No, they aren’t. Just stop using them. Period. Some people have made the claim that pick-up lines are funny and endearing if the guy is attractive and yet creepy and off-putting if the guy looks like a troll. The real issue isn’t about the creepy factor, it’s the interest factor. If the girl is interested in the guy then the approach seems more like…validation. And when the troll crawls out from under his bridge, it’s more like, “…oh wow, is this what I’m attracting…? Yikes. No, thank you” kind of thing.

Melissa Kirk poses the question, “Can The Good Guys Ever Win in the War of the Sexes?” in relation to a Missed Connection that was posted on Craigslist from a guy who met a girl at some social event; part of the event had a hot tub element that had a rule, “No talking in the hot tub” and so he stayed quiet. And essentially had a ‘missed connection’ and wanted to see if the stars were in his favor and if he could find this lady with the great hair and tattoos that he had shared a quiet hot tub experience with.

To pose that question – especially in relation to that story – this becomes more of an issue of nice guys and not so nice guys and are we to assume that all nice guys are trolls? Or are we to assume that good-looking guys are dicks? In this binary of nice and ugly guys versus mean and attractive guys, we are missing quite a lot in the middle. I have met my fair share of ugly, arrogant and mean guys in my time as well as some quite charming not so attractive guys. There have been a handful of attractive nice guys too, they do exist and I’d like to imagine that I’ve dated a few of them. Maybe.

For ANY guy to be able to pick up the lady of his choice it has very little to do with his looks, it would seem, and a whole lot more to do with his personality and his confidence. Yes, the people that commented on his missed connection called him “creepy” but that is not the real issue. The real issue is that he was lame. What are the real odds that she too was quietly sitting in that hot tub and thinking, “Wow, I sure wish that this GAME I’m participating in wasn’t a QUIET game and this guy would say something to me. Guess I’ll have to check out Craigslist tomorrow and see if we really had something there.” Really? C’mon. What would make him less lame or creepy if he had said hello in the hot tub? Or simply stepped out of the hot tub and said hello, so he’d be a respectful guy playing the game by the rules but not missing an opportunity?

Picking up a girl is never an easy sport. Even hot guys that run game on girls are laughable – really. Finding out a way to have a conversation with a girl is going to be the real ticket. Even if it’s not a long term thing, not asking her if she’s from Tennessee… (guess you’re the only TEN I SEE!) (eye roll) but if you’re going to do it, do it with confidence.

Moral of the Story: Just talk to the girl in the hot tub

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