I’m guilty as hell of being one of those giants who refused to date elf-types for fear of the pedophile suspicions or just the sheer weirdness of the height difference – go ahead and hate me. I’ve been 6’2” for an extremely long time and it took me an equally long time to get over my phobia of short women.
Men get discriminated against daily for their height by women who find no issue in voicing their opinion in extremely harsh and ugly ways. I guess that we are a race of human beings who love giants because on either side of the gender line if you hover lower than 5’3” there is an instant problem with it. Consider the excuses we make when it comes to dating someone shorter: Men – “She looks like she’s 12”, Women – “I can’t wear heels with him or we look crazy”.
One buddy of mine said that he went on a date and the girl seemed genuinely happy to see him until he hopped out of his truck and she immediately shot off a “I thought you were taller!” at him. Look at any commentary on actor Taye Diggs who women used to love (it’s complicated) and you get a litany of haters saying that the man is way too short… The irony? Well Taye is 5’10”.
Don’t think that being tall is all that it’s chalked up to be either… try being tall AND big, like muscular big – you get a whole new level of ignorance from women saying things like: “you look like you could kill me”, “you would split me in half”, or “I’m always scared that big guys are going to lift me up!” things that I have heard at one time or another from average-sized women, who had a deep-rooted fear of men, projected of course unto me as the avatar of abusive big men everywhere. Nice!
So I read this cute article from a woman lamenting the torments of life as a 4’11” person and it reminded me of how guilty I have been with height discrimination in dating. Aside from the one 6’ girl who forever put me off tall women, I have never been too keen on dating women shorter than 5’4” – it made me feel self-conscious and all of these dumb questions would go through my head:
- Do I have to lean over to kiss her, or fetch a stool for her to stand on?
- From a distance does it look like I’m with my daughter?
- How crazy would we look in photographs!?
- We will never be able to have sex in the shower…
One day I had a buddy of mine treat me to a strip club to celebrate my birthday… He chose a petite brunette to give me a lap-dance when I first got in and while I quite enjoyed my birthday gift, I was mortified at the reflection in the mirror! While I thought I might appear like a Zulu king being served up by a dancing, exotic, beauty, I instead looked like Kong with Naomi Watts juggling rocks for my entertainment. No, no, no, no, NOOO!
That dance further distanced me from petite women and I began to take a liking for the Amazonian goddess in all her mighty glory.
But time passes, you stop worrying about how the world sees you in lieu of your heart and you realize that big hearts can come in tiny packages. Sure you may not make for the best photo ops and certain sexual positions will become a challenge, but does it really matter all that much in the end? Though I still find it odd to see a 10’ tall NBA player and his bite-sized, trophy wife, I know that at the end of the day it is immaturity that makes my mind go there.
If you’re attracted to a shorty, don’t let the opinionated, nosy world hold you back like it has done me for so many years. There’s a lot more to a person than height but you know what? It will take you getting past “how it’s perceived” in order for you to understand this.