Nov 21

Once in a while when a man and a woman is dating there begins to surface a set of questions from the woman as to whether the man is still interested or not. Women let me get this out there first before I address the questions; men aren’t going to give you their heart and intent on a subject matter just because you ask it. This goes for dumb questions like asking a man if he’s gay and it goes for seemingly innocent questions like whether or not we’re bored. Most of the time we either don’t know or we won’t tell you for fear of it becoming the subject of the night. Let a man chill the hell out and he will value your company more than you think.

I like to call the question circus “hen pecking”. Have you ever seen chicken go at some feed when there’s barely any left? They peck, peck, peck, and peck like nobody’s business until there are no more grains left for them to feed on. For all of your good intentions it wears us thin if we just don’t feel like answering them. Consider this scenario when a new couple goes out on a dinner date and the woman is worried about her man’s calm demeanor when he greeted her, because she feels he should be a little more excited since she hasn’t seen him in 3 days. The man is happy to see his girl, and is looking forward to some light conversation and her beautiful smile as it will take some of the drama from work off of his mind and allow him to actually relax. Things are going well until the woman’s curiosity and insecurity gets the better of her and she unconsciously messes up his day without knowing it:

Woman: So… are you excited to see me?

Man: Of course I am you look beautiful.

Woman: Thank you… If you’re bored you would let me know right?

Man: What are you talking about? I’m not bored, just a little tired maybe. So how was your day?

Woman: (rambles on about her day for 20 minutes)

Man thinking: What the hell was that all about?

Woman: So was your day good?

Man: Ya it was great.

Do you see what happened there? She messed up the night without knowing it by throwing that accusation at someone who already has had a full day of crap. I want to call it selfish but it has happened so many times with me personally that I want to chalk it up to women just being ignorant of how we think. It may sound odd but we would almost prefer uncomfortable silence to your injecting odd musings into our mental state in the relationship.

Trust me, there are only a few guys that are the hopeless romantics of your books and movies. Most men won’t run up to you, hug you, spin you around and listen intently to you prattle on and on about your day, your fight at work and what show you are watching. If a guy is purposefully pushing the convo back into your corner when it’s his turn to chat, you have pissed him off and don’t even know it. This is the biggest tell and is a lot more accurate than him telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

I had someone ask me if I was excited every time I saw my girl. He asked me this because he was accused of being bored by his current girlfriend. My answer to him was simple, “what do you think? I’m a man. For me the only thing I know is that I am not annoyed when I have to go see her and I actually miss her after a time.” That’s how it is with us unless we are either a hopeless romantic or a guy who is head over heels for a new crush. Most times men are chilling, we like things smooth, even and with as little waves as possible.

So consider this the next time you feel the need to bring up the “are you bored of me” questions to your man. He doesn’t want to hear it and it won’t do you any good. Dude’s not bored, he’s tired and that is one of the side-effects of having a guy who isn’t a scrub, he may look like superman but trust me he isn’t and he just wants to eat his meal in peace.

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