Jan 26

Girlfriend for a time, wifey for an hour, gold-digger for 5 minutes, whatever you want to call these beautiful nymphets of the night, the last thing you want to call them is genuine. The Stripper/John relationship is a game: you came to pay, she comes to dance for your pleasure and you go home to reality.

Truth be told, not all men go home to masturbate or give their wives passionate sex after the strip club. Some guys go home, business as usual to fall asleep, play video games or play editor for their ezine (sigh). I write this article for a special set of guys however who leave the Club thinking that they have found true love. Though these men aren’t necessarily suckers, tricks, or losers; they misunderstand the stripper’s intentions and go home with the girl’s fake number, Facebook/Twitter account and dream of those perfect breasts being theirs sometime in the future. They get their feelings hurt when the number turns out to be fake, or when they go to her supposed Facebook account and it is a different woman altogether. It isn’t a few times that I have had to have “the talk” with new friends that I’ve taken to the strip club. The typical discourse being:

NewGuy: Man Lacy is so hot, and she was feeling me!
*Me: Uh huh… how much did you spend in V.I.P.?
NewGuy: A couple hundred but I got her number and email (grins proudly)
*Me: You really liked her huh? I did notice that she hung out with you the entire night.
NewGuy: Ya I’m gonna call her tomorrow, man she really opened up to me. She has a kid and does this part-time, and blah, blah, blah…

Get on my lap but stay out of my head

Strippers can ensorcel a man’s head quicker than any woman can. Guys go in there and they will become a temporary girlfriend if you let them. Most girls will hang out (if you’re paying), they’ll cozy up to you, sit on your lap, play with your junk and tell you that you are a god amongst men. They will confide in you if you seem like the nice guy type, they will play with you if you’re the playful, risky type and they will run down their history if you’re the “big daddy” type (guilty). It’s all bullshit but you love it, how could you not? All of this unbridled attention from a woman who wouldn’t even glance at you out in the daylight… yet here she is pouring her heart out to you while carressing your junk with her bare ass cheeks. An hour into it, “do you want a dance?” Hell ya you want that dance, you’re drunk on that woman’s scent, sexiness and the facade of her giving a shit about you.

But there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s the way of the Strip Club, she’s yours for a few hours, go ahead and love it, relax, and have fun. I just stress that once the night air hits you, that you return to the guy you were before you entered and leave that woman knowing that it was an even exchange of services. Sure there will be times when you are the man of her dreams and she wants to take it beyond the club. This article isn’t for that rare situation, see 9 times out of 10 if that’s what time it is, you will know way ahead of time. My advice goes out to you even if you crossed the line and had sexual relations within that V.I.P. room. She’s the sole controller and if it was good enough to have you falling in love with it then that’s your own damn fault for going there, she isn’t your woman.

Keep it Gangster

So when you enter the next Strip Club remember, it’s strictly business but her business is that of pleasure. Stop fooling yourself that all strippers are idiots waiting for the next super-nerd to swoop in, pay for a dance and a drink and then whisk her off into the sunset. Those women are working girls, most of them hate men (blame daddy but that’s another article) and you are one of many that come to pay them to play your part of sexist pig. Can you not enjoy that without being weird about it? Come on men, you’ve heard it a million times, you don’t find love in the Club and you damn sure won’t find it in a Strip Club.

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  • I’ve heard of a few instances where a guy DOES find love in the strip club. I even remember watching MTV when they were running one of those “wife of the athletes” programs. Showing how nice they lived.

    One of the wifes they follow around is a stripper that met her dude in the club. Now I know you might say “well he had money, so that is different”, but just the other day I was listening to a radio station where a bus driver was being interviewed and he was talking about how he met his wife at the strip club, and they been married all these years, and he is cool with her still working the club cause its better than working the streets. They had kids together, blah blah blah.

    So, I don’t know if this whole “you will never find your girl in the club” thing is100%. It happens. You just don’t hear about it. It’s probably not something you wave around.

    It also depends on the circumstances. Gotta be the right dude that just so happens to be in the strip club that hosts a stripper that is open to that. Stars align type thing.

    Most guys who are looking probably aren’t the dudes who are going to land that girl. The stories I have heard, it seems to be the guys who are not looking that wind up finding love in the strip club. It’s odd, but it kinda of make sense.

    The guy who is just relaxed, not looking for love, acts more like himself and has a natural swag, might appear more interesting as he is not seen as a typical club fool, while the dude sweating girls, looking for love in the club is just seen as an ATM for the night because he is blinded by his mission and is thus easier to fool.

    Also, one similarity in those who have found love in the strip club is that they frequented the club, and got to know the girl over time.

    • “Most guys who are looking probably aren’t the dudes who are going to land that girl.”

      Bingo! It’s 100% up to the stripper so going into a Club, being a herb dishing out cash, tricking your check and dropping your number like the big man on campus is about as useful as proposing to a random woman on the streets. Sure a few cats land girlfriends out of there, but the ones I know were either pushing dope to the chicks, or victims of circumstance as you described. Average Joe need not be in there looking to Julia Roberts a girl, it’s the worst way to play yourself. Go in there, have a good time and take your happy ass home – anything beyond that is completely up to the girls.

      • JB

        I’m a true to life player. I understand the club. I love the life. I just look to play a stripper with my supreme acting skills.. I dated a stripper/ex stripper for almost two years. Gorgeous African girl with the greatest body I’ve ever seen/beautiful.. It took her almost two years to seethat I played her! It goes both ways..

  • ModernDayIsis

    I have a hard time with this when so many successful black men (mostly rappers and those who buy into the rap image) are dating and marrying strippers. All this music glorifying (in an objectified sort of way) the female anatomy, and all these black men dating Amber Rose’s and Black Chyna’s…. I just don’t get it. And I really don’t get how no one is talking about this. They are finally starting to understand in the white community (see the documentary “Sexy Baby”) so why is it that black folks are still glorifying the negative and calling it a positive thing? Because they’re making money? By those standards, slavery was also a positive thing. SMH

    • I think rappers are loving on the aspect of “the hustler”, just like they idolize the mythical Scarface-level drug dealer they idolize the stripper that is out there breaking tricks for money. A stripper and a drug dealer are a match made in heaven so rapping about a bad chick in the club isn’t out of the question. The black men you see dating Amber Rose aren’t exactly the ones you want to go home with anyway – as long as squares aren’t trying to wife up strippers it’s all entertainment. Let’s stop using hip hop as the measuring stick for our culture. I know that music is influential but to me it’s an easy straw man to place blame on.

      • ModernDayIsis

        Not so, and I think that’s why I brought up Sexy Baby… because the situation we’re in right now in terms of technology and social media is unprecedented. Young people are being bombarded with imagery all day everyday, and it is NOT healthy imagery. Parents are having a harder time regulating what their kids see and hear because it’s all over facebook and youtube as well as TV and magazines. They can simply log on on their cell phones or go to a friends house and use the computer. The notion that somehow the word “entertainment” is a catch-all that releases one from all moral and social responsibilities is completely antiquated, especially since science is revealing more and more about how music, TV, and even written words affect our brain’s pleasure enters, causing the release of dopamine and other pleasure inducing chemicals we can easily and unconsciously get hooked on.