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A long time ago in the land of ignorance and naiveté, I was a young, starving artist in school trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Having bypassed my aspirations of ace fighter pilot and medical doctor (I know I was all over the place), I decided on what came easily to me… drawing. “Graphic Design Students… Please Stop Selling Out” One day after having the last Little Debbie Snack Cake in my cupboard for breakfast and trolling through classes pondering when my Financial Aid check would finally come in, I decided to try my hand at hustling. Promptly gathering up some paper from the printer in our computer lab and a couple pencils, I went to the center of the school (the most social area) and set up shop, drawing people for $5 a pic. An hour later I was $60 richer and able to buy groceries to… [Read more]

Believe it or not the judgmental eyes that you worry about while running are mostly in your head. Most people are either oblivious to your running while the vocally negative are actually jealous. It takes a lot to put yourself out there to the spectacle of the jeering crowd but the difficulty that comes with jogging while fat is a thing that is mostly respected by all. People will barely if ever say mean things when you’re running with the exception of the occasional jackass who may insult you with his “run that shit off big girl” but even that is meant as encouragement in it’s own twisted way. Gym Rats Will Support You Whenever myself or one of my gym rat buddies see someone running our commentary has never been anything short of positive. To be honest the only people that I have seen making negative comments about someone heavy exercising have been people… [Read more]

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I’m Alpha. Tough shit if you don’t like it or agree with me, but I have Superwoman Syndrome. Although syndrome makes it sounds like an affliction (sometimes is, I guess) – I get mad amounts of work done in a day. In a normal day, I’ll probably have 2 meetings, be on my BlackBerry whilst walking, replying and checking more emails, returning and answering calls and staying up to date with friends and family. Trouble with me, is that I.Just.Cannot.Slow.Down. I’m usually wide awake in bed and my mind is always running in fast forward. I don’t know how to relax because I fear that I haven’t got something done in the day. And that of course this affects relationships. Men have accused me of being aggressive, too much to bear or handle, argumentative, hot headed and every name that’s derogatory about being ambitious under the sun. I’m used to it really. When i was… [Read more]

Look as a man you are going to be tempted with beautiful “strange” at least once in your lifetime and it won’t matter if your wife is as beautiful and lusty as a Jada Pinkett-Smith or an Angelina Jolie-Pitt, you are going to think really hard on it. Come on man, you mean to tell me that you are so much greater than every other man that you could never in a million years be tempted to rendezvous with a seductress? Of course you will and for the weaker men who fold to the allure of strange ass you have a choice in HOW to deal with your guilt, your shame, and your WIFE! Why be an asshole about it? Become a cheater but for the sake of your nuptials and family become a “respectable cheater”, by keeping omerta and keeping your people unaware. The following are 5 simple steps in this process to help… [Read more]

I recall the day, I think I was about 23, when my buddy Cleveland (ya, ya, get your Family Guy jokes in) flipped over on his back on a bar and the bartender emptied a quart of Grey Goose Vodka down his throat. Cleveland was at that club at least 4 times a week and the bartenders loved him – god bless his scales and fins, the boy was a fish. They loved him because Cleveland was a fun drunk, not one of these douchebags that starts fights, spills things or goes in on your girlfriend, he just became Cleveland x2, a more enhanced version of himself. He got funnier, danced better and became more engaging. We all were slamming drinks like fish back then, it was liquid courage, the smile enhancer, the fun maker, the cougar panty melter… you get the gist. When I watch shows like Jersey Shore and see the alcohol life… [Read more]

Tales of a Bouncer Series: Clubs aren’t all fun and alcohol – you have thugs, drugs and violence that comes along with it. Hall of The Black Dragon presents the accounts of a Bouncer’s weekly adventures from men who are in the life and have thrown out the lowest of the low. There was a girl at our Club that had been talking to one of the guys all night but he eventually left and she passed out at one of the tables on the V.I.P. patio outside. It was a busy night and I had my eye on her but nobody else was out there. She had either been given some drugs or she was passed out from too much alcohol but I had no clue. She was a regular at the Club (I’d never seen her like this) and her dad was a police officer who coincidentally was working that night. Two douchebags… [Read more]

5

You’re on a date with a beautiful woman, you’re both having a good time and suddenly the wine gets to her head and she begins to ask really dumb questions. The questions are so off-putting that her beauty fades and you begin to wonder how easily you can ditch her in order to find something else to do for the rest of the night. Have you ever been there? Well below are 5 questions out of the many that women tend to ask and whether to answer them or not, and if so, what to answer them with. 1. How Come You Aren’t Married or Have Any Kids? The real meaning: (see “Are You Gay”) It’s a loaded and unanswerable question and women love to use it on men who have money, look handsome, and seem fun. The logic is “oh my God, why are you available when so many thirsty women want you!” but… [Read more]

3

Look ladies and gentlemen, if you are with a new love that makes you feel like a million bucks all at the expense of your child then you need to wake up and realize that you are being selfish. While it’s important that you take care of your happiness along with your child’s during his/her 18 year stint in your home, it is still important that the child is happy. I’ve seen it from I was a shorty, single women moving in assholes on their children in hopes that the two will warm up to one another in time. Let me be completely honest with you, many guys will NEVER warm up to your children based off the fact that they aren’t of his seed. Hell he may end up treating his own flesh/blood like shit while keeping you up on that golden pedestal, is that worth your child’s sanity? I want to meet your… [Read more]