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There’s a great wish in the African American community for a wonderful utopia known as UNITY. The word brings about images of 70′s era movies where everyone picks their blow-out afros, slaps high-fives and echo “right on” in unison. This reality was lived out by our parents but now the word has become pure fantasy. A fellow AA writer and myself discussed this unity thing and devised that there are 7 layers of division that keeps black unity a myth. This list may not be black exclusive but it plagues us and keeps us separated in a major way. The 7 Layers of Division in Black America: Layer 1 – Bourgee vs. Ghetto Middle/Upper Class vs. Lower Class for those confused by the derogatory terms. These two classes of people don’t necessarily hate one another but cannot coexist due to different outlooks and prejudice towards one another. So how would you go about unifying them?… [Read more]

We’re not only writers, we’re readers and below are some of the highlights of the past few weeks that we wish to share: The Conundrum of Watching Fine Women Play Basketball Is our integrity as sports fans on the line if we stop and stare at the beautiful women that play the game of basketball? Should we be able to keep it together as the national championship is decided before our very eyes? Are we just heathens? Probably, but this is nothing new in the world of sport […] Is She Fat Or Thick? Who Gives A F**K What’s the difference between thick and fat? Who decides when the PH replaces the F? The Answer is: Who gives a fuck. There is a debate in America over the weight of a woman, and what’s attractive and what’s not. Black people in general have become the punch line when it comes to a little more cushion… [Read more]

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“Pull up yo britches!!”  This phrase used to be heard whenever there was a person wearing their pants, slacks, or jeans below the waist (usually without a belt) out in the black community.  However, nowadays, you really don’t hear that phrase, even though, the practice of wearing pants below the waist or “sagging” as it has been termed has become more common place.  You’ve seen them.  That guy wearing the wife-beater, boxers and buttocks proudly exposed above their jeans, which are “sagged” so low they might as well be socks.  They’re everywhere, in our schools, streets, and especially on our TV.   It is unfortunate that this has become the stereotypical uniform of our black youth.  Youth, who are just mimicking the fashions seen in music videos produced by Hip Hop’s finest, such as Lil Wayne, Yung Joc, and many others.  A fashion trend, believe it or not, that has its origins in our prison systems. … [Read more]

You know the confusion and misinformation on men and our choice of hairdos will never come to an end in the black community but maybe I can shed some light on the observations I’ve made amongst my fellow “men of color”. The natural hair movement is in full effect as former perms are being replaced rapidly by ceasers, afros and natural braids. With this movement there will be those who tell you that they made “the big chop” for hair health reasons and others who say that it is only another hairstyle that they are trying out. The stigma with natural women however seems to be that they are all stuck-up, Erykah Badu types that point fingers at women who kept a perm or weave. Just Look Good in Your Tresses One of the other tired attack memes on black males (besides our inherent love for fat blondes and prison… rolls eyes) is that we… [Read more]

Jesus Christ, just when the target from the black woman’s sniper rifle had begun to lose focus on black men, in swoops Oprah to sharpen the lenses once again. Fellas you can expect to have your dates querying you for “being in the closet” once again with Oprah Winfrey’s opportunistic interview with J.L. King, the King as it were, of the black Down Low lifestyle. What is the “Down Low” you may ask? Well it’s another black boogeyman right up there with dudes who will snatch your purse in elevators (snatch that thing tightly to your bodies ladies), dudes who will rape you and oh ya dudes who will shack up with your daughter and refuse to work for a living. If you don’t get what I’m saying, it is pretty plain, I am saying that the Down Low is another stupid obstacle thrown into the mix of black/black dating to scare women away from… [Read more]

“Dear Diary, I met this cute guy a few months back who made me have bad thoughts just by looking at him, but we only met briefly and he didn’t try to get my number or anything. I’ve tried to get his attention a few times after by walking close to him and making sure to smile but he hurts my feelings every time by going about as if I am just another girl in the office. Why can’t he be a man and holler at me?” – Frustrated Black Blogger Chick As a man who has been around the block a few times, I have seen the standard activity of black women on the Club scene and I’ll admit that it confuses me. The above quote was from a blog I read where the blogger laments daily about her inability to score a date even though she is beautiful (seen her pic), works out… [Read more]

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There is a social dilemma in the black community, brought to light by blogs, news stories and opportunistic authors looking for sales. The dilemma is an ongoing meme that there are no black men for black women and that the women themselves are practically unlovable with the bad attitudes and high expectations of the professional thug/ ball player who stands over 6ft tall and can blow her back out with his super penis while keeping her draped in diamonds with his super bank account. This stereotype is there for a reason (bare with me), it is constructed from many experiences with the wrong kind of black woman and has made itself the avatar of what a black woman in the dating world is. Who are these women, and why are they so bad? Most of us men go for ass over class, looks over books and sex over common sense. Coming up as a common… [Read more]

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There is a common understanding amongst men that most guys have a flavor (type of woman) that they are predisposed to. While the lusting for extremely young, old or muscular women is seen as taboo and disturbing to a number of guys, having an exclusivity to a race really isn’t as abnormal as the media makes it out to be. I know white guys who have blonde fetishes, redhead fetishes, Asian fetishes and I use fetish to mean women they go nuts for just because they are within that pool. I know black men who have Latina fetishes, Russian accent fetishes and light-skinned, caramel bi-racial fetishes. I even know Asian men who have fetishes for blond girl-next-door types. These are all lusts that are seen as a big horrible, racial issue when it comes to relationship chats about race. Embittered women will bemoan the constant of seeing white men with Asian women, or black men… [Read more]