Ahh the drunk at the party, a common creature at the adult nightclub, the college house party and the office Holiday party. While many people love a happy, funny drunk, there are some people who should stay a million miles away from alcohol due to the monster they become when inebriated. The following is a list of 20 types of drunks that can easily ruin a party; read and see if you can spot one that you remember.  Drunken People who vomit uncontrollably, missing the toilet, leaving their nasty vomit smell in the bathroom. Girls that scream “WOOOOO!!!!” bka Woo-Girls… we hates them! Peer Pressure Guy… “Why aren’t you guys drinking!? Woooooo!!” Douchebags who scream “YEEEEAHHHHH!!!” People who pass out drunk in the bathroom with the door locked! WTF!? The drunken one-upper or the drunken me-tooer. Ruining conversations all night long… The douchebag that wants to fight. That touchy-feely stranger who wants to hug you… [Read more]

I deal with this guy every day. He has a fast car. He wants to get where he’s going really quickly but he makes the dumbest decisions. He switches lanes when his lane slows down even though the reason behind his lane slowing down is someone 5 cars ahead turning into a plaza. He doesn’t pay attention to the fact that there is an old man frequently stopping in the other lane but because he isn’t thinking, he switches into that lane and get hitched up. While comical to watch this jackass swerve back and forth between lanes 40 odd times behind you, it’s even funnier when he does pass your car and you end up passing him a few minutes later because he’s jammed up behind some knot of traffic. When you cannot read traffic properly while diving it doesn’t matter how fast or how slow your car is. You will end up being… [Read more]

A woman that has fallen head over heels for a guy will not have the clear judgment needed to see that everyone else in her life wants to cut his head off with a rusty blade. You may not know your douchebag boyfriend is hated until you break up and everyone admits that they thought he was an ass. But luckily for you there are tell-tale signs; normally you can judge through the thoughts and actions of male family members and “friends”. The latter is in quotations because male friends more than likely want to be more than that with you so they will probably give you a bad report on the guy anyway. So read the signs and ask your brothers, uncles or father and get multiple answers, don’t just trust dad’s feelings. Jackass Signal 1 – Short visits from male family members If you notice that people leave immediately after doing whatever favor… [Read more]

Is there anything more worthless than an unqualified gym trainer? Not the guys and gals who live and eat fitness while knowing enough to get certified to train professionally but the Jerry Jackass that works at a gym and waste the time of his/her clients. If you are going to a new gym and plan to seek a trainer, don’t be afraid to ask questions about their certification. If you currently work out at a gym and you get unsolicited advice from a so-called trainer be sure to give him the 3-point look before accepting it or telling him to piss off. Greg’s 3-Point Gym Trainer Assessment. Point 1 – Does he/she look the part. I don’t mean they’re skinny or normal or “toned”, I mean does he look like someone that you would follow into a battle for a banging body. 9 times out of 10 the bullshitter will look like Trey from down… [Read more]

Removing friends from your life isn’t something that sounds remotely like a good idea. For many people a friend is a rare brother from another mother that you love as much as your blood kin. Well as you progress in life and you develop a code for living, your stances, belief-structure and families will warrant a re-adjustment of your familiars. While Tito the whore monger was your boy back in school and you wanted to be like him, now that you’re a beta man with family, kids and a jealous wife, you may want to reserve your time with the still single Tito to a minimum. One thing that is important when dumping friends (which a lot of people don’t do) is that you owe the person an explanation as to why you are done with them. It’s simple observe: Concerned Dad: Hey Mike, I’ve known you all my life and I know you have… [Read more]

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So when you work for yourself the office can sometimes feel like a prison which is why escape is always a welcome prospect for me whenever it is offered. On Saturdays I have been making it a routine to visit the local bookstore with my fellow artist friend to sketch out some ideas and commit them to Adobe Illustrator. This Saturday the token loud, obnoxious nerd was in attendance spazzing uncontrollably in public as he and his fellow piglets recited lines from Ice Age – snorting uncontrollably in concert at their jokes. For everyone else it was unbearable and luckily I was saved by a pair of headphones and the music of Talib Kweli. The last occurrence was on my 3rd viewing of James Cameron’s Avatar when a bunch of these guys flowed in singing out loudly and shouting things that most adults would be embarrassed to admit they even know about. So it makes… [Read more]

Ever feel like skull dragging and then gorilla stomping the hell out of people for being inconsiderate and stupid? This is a feeling that emerges whenever I ride the train, bus or cheap airplane. Do you know why you never see really wealthy people, celebrities and business moguls on your large commutes? It’s because of this attitude for the common man, the common man is a loud, ignorant jackass who rarely knows when to shut the hell up or use his inside voice. Being forced to wear ear buds with Ghostface Killah on a high volume to drown people out is beyond annoying to me. Draining the Blackberry battery to jam Pandora radio on the bus, again on a high volume is annoying to me. It’s annoying because I would love to be able to have options, like reading, remember reading? You’re probably saying to yourself, well why don’t you just read and tune them… [Read more]

Do you find yourself discriminating against another driver based on the vehicle that he/she is driving? well I realized that I do and this is due to the habits of more than a few individuals who drive a particular make and model of car. Now I know that dicks come in all shapes and sizes, and that a dick in a Beamer is just as much a dick as he was when he was driving a Corolla but when you come across five Beamers and they all drive like assholes, you are going to anticipate the next one and act according.  Now I am a road bully, I drive aggressively and I lack patience for people who drive slowly, those who seem to be lost and the idiots who pull out from driveways blindly. Oft times being a Sci-Fi head, I wish I had some oil slick or a flame thrower a la Mad Max,… [Read more]