It’s that time of year folks, you know THAT time when getting on a machine in the gym is an impossibility due to the new crowd of people trying to accomplish their “New Year’s resolution”. Chances are you may have forgotten about this fad during your routine weekly gym visits; the holidays made you cheery (and forgetful) and the warning signs (Jennifer Hudson ads) were not showing up on your television station of choice. Regardless of your expectations however the crowd is here and now your typical 45 minutes of chest on Mondays has been shifted to 1.5 hours due to having to wait on the new members cramming in badly executed exercises on every machine. January through March is the peak time for gyms to pull in new memberships; it’s a personal trainer’s dream and a gym rat’s nightmare. Nothing can fix this problem unless you can make Christmas, Thanksgiving and sugary, fatty foods… [Read more]

Starting a gym can be as intimidating as walking out of your house butt naked and many times folks fall into the same newbie pitfalls that brings unsolicited attention to them, and makes it worse in the long run. Prior to going into the gym I would advise you to find a good resource whether it’s through a gym rat friend (of the same sex), online or in a fitness magazine. Read and learn a bit about gym routines, what they are made to do and structure a plan based on it – this is if you want to avoid the price (and general trial/error of scoring a good one) a personal trainer costs. When you have your plan together, go into the gym and take it slowly and work your way up. If you have never been to a gym before, pull aside one of the monkeys working there (the border people in all… [Read more]

I have NEVER been attracted to muscle women, actually come to think of it whenever I’d see a chick on the cover of a muscle mag, it was a HUGE turn-off. This was me until I met Denise, the cardiovascular nurse who I worked with periodically. She was sweet, endearing and we would trade smiles with each other whenever we crossed paths.  Soon I found out accidentally that we both parked our expensive German cars in the same distant lot to hide them from nosy co-workers wanting to know what we drove. Needless to say, all that muscle stuff went out the door, I was in love. So lemme describe Denise, she was a shorty about 5’3″, caramel complexion with a short bob haircut. She had a backyard but no fat or cottage cheese, the legs and arms were cut up to hell, letting you know immediately that she worked out. She was single, in… [Read more]

So it’s that time of the year when gyms are empty, people are concentrating on shopping and bank accounts are getting drained. Ironically as we all watch the NFL and College Football athletes perform at the highest level, physiques echoing the training and sacrifice made to their bodies for the glory of the sport, we somehow manage to ignore our own. There is little to no chatter made about the gut getting fatter and the muscles atrophying as we consume beer, burgers, hot dogs and chips, while screaming at the television as Eli Manning gets another pick. No, we forget the months of arduous gym training and cardio repetitions as they get dashed to the side in lieu of “Game Day”. Guys within “the know” understand this activity; it’s the final steps of the yearly dance. You know the dance don’t you? Well let me break the steps down for all of you who may not realize… [Read more]

Let’s be honest, the ritual of the New Year’s resolution is one of lies, deciept and all around bullsh-t. We do it so that we can tell people in hopes of getting their acknowledgement at the idea of you bettering yourself. Innately we are all selfish creatures so we don’t care what everyone’s New Year’s resolution is, we just want to proclaim ours.  If I am sick of hearing people lying about losing weight or making money, I know you all are too, so why join in on this madness? For this reason I have stopped making them. The most popular resolution of all is the “getting in shape” cliche. Oh boy. Here’s the thing… and you have heard it a million times and shrugged it off. 8 minute abs don’t work, buying a treadmill to have it collect dust in your basement does not work, and paying a guy $60 a month to train you… [Read more]