There is one thing about being used… it never feels good. When you feel used you become very resentful of the user and it grows inside of you to the point where you need to remove them from your existence as quickly as possible. It makes you feel cheap, ignorant, and gullible, and it makes them seem like a cruel, selfish person with a questionable moral sense. It is like a vice squeezing your throat to prevent your breathing, and you want to either confront them about it or cut off all ties.
Many people are using their loved ones without even realizing it. Within their minds they have an alternate reality where their good thoughts about the person they are using are enough to make it okay. They think “he/she knows I love them, and whenever they are in jeopardy I will make sure to be there”, but in reality they go on taking advantage of the person for years. When they get confronted it is as if time ran out on the good intentions that they planned to execute in gratitude. The response is “you know that I am there for you”, or “I was going to pay you back and then some when I got it!” Users that aren’t conscious of their selfishness will not understand why the person being used is upset about it.
Right now there are some of you out there who are using your family members or taking advantage of their generosity. You continue to take, take, take, and because the person that you take from is never one to ask you for a favor in turn, you assume that it is okay to keep on taking. Some of you have a person in your life that loves you unconditionally and shows it, but you blow them off to pursue someone else with the belief that the loving person will always be there. You have made someone who wants a mutually loving relationship with you into a fan; you have become their celebrity and when they figure it out and move on, you wonder at where you went wrong.
Why is it that we are so quick to look past the people who lift us up? Why do you feel that gratitude, feedback, and gifting is beyond you for these people? Are you really a selfish ass, or is it beyond you to accept that someone cares about you enough to put themselves out there like that?
I look back at my life and the people I have encountered like this and most of them are no longer people I communicate with. Family members that proved to be like this are not communicated with unless it is necessary, and I stay on “user watch” 24/7. Imagine if everyone in the world was like me in this instance. Not a very friendly world is it? I am the result of a lifetime of users, and you run the risk of turning your lovers, your family members, and your coworkers into cold shoulders if you continue to treat them like fans, bank accounts (sigh), or convenient sex partners.
If you have people in your life that go the extra mile for you, pick up the damn phone and give them a heartfelt “thank you”, then figure out a way to pay it back double so that they know that they are appreciated. It costs nothing to show gratitude but too many of you act like you are giving an eyetooth when you do. Stop taking people for granted and do better with your appreciation.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.