Yesterday I read a bit of dating advice which told young men to dump their good girlfriends for nothing in order to harden their hearts for the future. The advice came from a dark place that many of us are familiar with but I didn’t realize that my fellow men would put this out there as if it’s legit.
Why would you dump a woman who understands you, loves you, and is willing to stick with you throughout life’s trials and tribulations? Isn’t that the goal for those of us who seek a true partner in love?
The logic behind this strategy is that “there will always be another woman” and it comes from men who are trying to pattern their dating styles off of women. Yes you heard it right women perpetuated it… but not all women – specifically a woman who has burned the author in the past. That isn’t flipping the game fellas… that’s surrendering to it!
There are many places online where wounded men go to heal, share stories and grow stronger and one of the most popular dialogues deals with the cheating ex-girlfriend or wife. This cheater stepped out on the man when he has been nothing but good to her and hurt him in a way that he will never recover.
Once a man has been cheated on he looks at the game as a whole and decides that men and women are not playing on an even field. Women can step out on good men knowing that there will be another sucker to rebound to so why don’t men do the same?
This brings about the old pimp line of “if I love her I should let her go” which means that if you have a woman who you know is too good you should dump her ass hard in order to keep your heart cold. It is the ultimate in defensive maneuvers for the injured, jilted lover.
If you have been given this advice in the past men, you have to look at the logic behind it. A guy who wants to play the field and get as much ass as humanly possible will want to stick to a rule like this because love leads to attachment.
For the regular guy who wants a girlfriend or wife to be with as long as possible this sort of advice will not help you. When a guy dumps a good girl he tends to regret it 3 girlfriends later when he realizes that in truth there is always “another girl” but there isn’t always “another good girl”.
So file this bit of advice under “things hurt people pass off as advice” and keep it moving. If you found someone special then take care of her and don’t buy into playing games just for the hell of it.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.