Jun 11

Rule #21 (Men Don’t Pop Gum):
Seriously if you are a guy that sits there popping gum loudly, you are being really suspect. It’s just bitch activity to pop gum as a man and there is no explanation for even doing it. Chew your damn gum and shut your mouth, save the popping for your annoying girlfriend fresh out of High School.

Rule #22 (Common Courtesy):
A man should never ever get in the way of another man scamming on some tail, this means no cock blocking, no whining and no barging in on your buddy while he is having sex. If you arrive at a party or establishment with a fellow male and he meets a woman that has agreed to go home with him, it is your duty to find another ride. If you share a dorm/apartment with a friend and the “Do Not Disturb” symbol has been initiated (My old roommate and I would leave the outside light on as a signal) then by no means should you enter the house to disturb them. Respect the hunter when he has marked and landed his prey, don’t be a hater, get on the phone and call someone to pick you up from the party or your apartment.

Rule #23 (Table Manners):
There will never be a time when it’s cool to sample food from another man’s plate so go ahead and refrain from doing so. There is little more suspect than seeing one man take his fork and sample some potatoes from his buddy’s plate. He would do just as good to go below the table and release his man’s stress orally. No, if you want to taste whatever he ordered so badly then get a saucer, a smaller plate or a napkin and have him scoop it on that for you. Fugoudahere!  What’s next? He lets you sample a little bit from his fork?

Rule #24 (No Handcuffs):
There is nothing sexier and macho than confidence. Women and men both love a man who is firm in his discretions, unpretentious and strong. Want to dispel all of that and look like a little bitch to every man you come across? Then go ahead and “handcuff” your girl, ie: snatch her close, kiss her sloppily or make evil eyes whenever you see other guys checking her out. A strong man knows that he is the one who will be knocking that out later on in the night so the need for handcuffing and posturing is nil. When you see guys doing this you immediately think of him as a sappy, sub-man or a douche. Don’t be a bitch, be a man, release the handcuffs and get some self esteem.

Rule #25 (Balance The Pet):
When you watch movies with cool, evil, alpha male villains they normally have some sort of tiny effeminate pet that they stroke methodically as they plot and scheme. Blofeld or Dr. Evil comes to mind but we all can agree that if they were real, you would not have the balls to call them girly for owning such an animal. Actually you give a hardcore gangster a poodle, or a hardened criminal a parakeet, the bitch word never crosses your mind at all. But give one of these fad chasing, clean to a fault, sandal rocking douches a cat to walk around with and you will try his ass all day long. You know why? They aren’t balancing their pet, if you are a runt of a guy then balance that out with a wicked Pit.

If you look like you could eat rocks and break bones then you can get any pet you want but you don’t want that vicious pit or women along with the men will run from you at every turn. Most men will agree, there are cool pets and there are girly pets, if you want the latter then get in the weight room and work on your alpha. Harsh I know but you can avoid it all by sticking to more manly animals – I don’t need to tell you what they are, lets just say your girlfriend would look extremely uncomfortable “walking” them.

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