Nov 25

Rule #56 (Critique):

Never criticize a man’s wife, fiancé or long-term girlfriend in front of him. While this is bound to cause a fight or a rather awkward misunderstanding, it is in bad taste and unwarranted. As a rule a man’s wife and family should not have a place within your mouth unless it is to compliment or inquire on health and well-being.

Rule #57 (Emasculating Men):

While we always caution women to refrain from emasculating another man it should be a known law that this is something a man does not do to his male friends and/or family. To emasculate another man in front of others is a cruel thing, a life/death thing in certain cases and probably the reason you were given an open hand slap… the ultimate gesture of the duel. If you feel like telling tales about your buddy crying to you about his cheating wife then keep it to yourself, it’s not cool, it’s not funny and it will get you killed.

Rule #58 (The Package):

Under no circumstances, conditions or planet is it ever okay to take a snap shot of your junk to send to a man or woman. Actually it isn’t even cool to take a picture to store in your album and admire later on. To quote Rick “The Boss” Rozay: Real niggas don’t take dick flicks. Men like Kanye West, Brett Favre and Congressman Anthony “Tweeter Peter” Weiner can attest to the folly of taking pictures of your package.

Rule #59 (Oh Father):

A man should try his best to refrain from reprimanding and embarrassing another man in front of his children. What this means is that on “bring your children to work day” if you have a bone to pick with Johnson you wait until tomorrow or you pull him into your office to do it. Don’t be an ass, the children will hate you, be scarred by you punking their loved one and your soul will rot in hell.

Rule #60 (Zoom Zoom!):

There’s nothing cool or cute about hopping into another man’s vehicle to take it for a spin without asking permission first. This isn’t Grand Theft Auto and most men have a kinship with their vehicles which will make your crime come off as a violation. If you hop in a man’s vehicle and find yourself knocked out when you come face to face with him, you will have deserved it for violating this tenet.

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