Jan 25

ray lewis going ape

Rule #66 (Paper-Blocking)

It is rarely okay for a man to get in the way of another man’s money unless that man is a competitor or rival in business. People who stop you from making money out of jealousy or some twisted ideology on morality are some of the worst people to have in your life. If you are a man and see that another man is about to become successful off of his smarts or hard work, you should either congratulate him or get out of the way. There are way too many paper blockers in life to deal with compared to the men who genuinely back us up and lend support.

Rule #67 (Reckless Eyeballing)

As a general rule men don’t stare at other men unless when attempting to provoke an argument or a fight. The standard “peaceful” length of time for a man to stare at another man is roughly .8 seconds (give or take). While this rule will vary between cultures for the most part staring down a man is as bad as pulling off one’s gauntlets and slapping him across the face with it. Basically, if you aren’t ready to declare war you should probably keep your eyes to yourself.

Rule #68 (On The Job)

It is against the man laws to one-up a friend at the job no matter the situation. Men have a sacred bond which relies on trust during situations like this that a fellow “bro” won’t stab us in the back. When you find out that there is an opportunity for betterment in a position at the job you should feel comfortable in telling a “friend” and gaining his blessing without choosing the way of deception. On the flip side a man should uplift and support his brethren during times like this instead of paper-blocking in order to keep him down.

Rule #69 (Debt Relief)

Real men do not forget their debts. Let me repeat that again for the people sitting in the nosebleeds… real men do not forget their debts. It is the sign of the ultimate scumbag when a man completely forgets that he owes you a couple hundred dollars. Men like this should be banned from receiving any further financial help no matter the situation.

When a man is lowered to having to borrow he should write the debt down or keep it in the forefront of his memory to make it the first thing he pays. Debt is a form of slavery and as a whole men do not like chains, to forget your debts is to admit to the world that you are comfortable wearing shackles.

Rule #70 (Are You Gay Or Not?)

There is a thing that some men like to joke about which is along the lines of “which celebrity would you go gay for?” and it’s normally brought up by supposedly straight men. If you are gay then that’s one thing but for a straight man to try this it is a violation of the man laws. Men are either gay, bisexual or straight, there is no “going gay” for a convenient session and bouncing back so these hypothetical scenarios are suspect.

The next time a man brooches this question with you check him on his preference and shut it down immediately.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.