Oct 08

Jesus Christ, just when the target from the black woman’s sniper rifle had begun to lose focus on black men, in swoops Oprah to sharpen the lenses once again.

Fellas you can expect to have your dates querying you for “being in the closet” once again with Oprah Winfrey’s opportunistic interview with J.L. King, the King as it were, of the black Down Low lifestyle. What is the “Down Low” you may ask? Well it’s another black boogeyman right up there with dudes who will snatch your purse in elevators (snatch that thing tightly to your bodies ladies), dudes who will rape you and oh ya dudes who will shack up with your daughter and refuse to work for a living. If you don’t get what I’m saying, it is pretty plain, I am saying that the Down Low is another stupid obstacle thrown into the mix of black/black dating to scare women away from black men. Someone on “The Down Low”, for those of you who missed the Law and Order episode, is a gay man who maroons as a straight man in order to hide his true sexuality. Grab your pitch forks, bibles and holy water, the Down Low devils are going to take your virginity and give you the HIV – oh lawdy, lawdy!

Ironically the term was created and maintained by black men such as J.L. King (who sold tons of books from revealing it) and maintained by the black women who are so easily led astray by media moguls such as Oprah. When King first revealed his ninja lifestyle he claimed to be a straight man who just liked buttsecks… with dudes, now he says he is a happy gay man. I want to personally strangle this guy for the hell he has wrought on the dating scene for lying about what the f-ck he was. Had he said he was gay in the first interview black women would not be asking me if I am secretly taking a deal up my deal from my buddies when I go to poker night. If he had said he was gay from the beginning that ignorant Law and Order episode and a ton of other movies would not have spawned from it. The damage is done.

Now that Bishop Eddie Long is in the news for taking personal MySpace caliber pics in some Under Armor (thanks Rev now every time I gear up for the gym, that U on my chest reminds me of you), the boogeyman has come to surface again. Now it won’t be reserved for us black single men but will be extended to any man of the cloth who has a gym membership. If it’s one thing people love to do it’s generalize and you preachers out there that have been gay bashing with that bible of yours… whew… welcome to our hell.

Now I’m not ignorant and Eddie Long is an opportunistic step for many people. I am sure that J.L.King has another book in the works just like Basement Dweller Steve Harvey. It’s all good but for my fellow single black men out there, do not stand for this line of questioning anymore. We need to fight back the ignorance that Oprah has wrought on our dating lives. Just say no to Down Low questioning; only a bird would ask you some dumb shit like that anyway.

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