Sep 05

having-a-type-like-ray-j

Do you have a type? I often hear people complain about the dating scene, women say there are no quality guys and the men say all the women they meet are crazy.  Have you ever heard the term history repeats itself?  Well that holds true in a lot of circumstances especially dating; men and women are attracted to potential partners that are more than likely wrong for them.

People typically look for the same type of person to date; even after bad experiences they still go for the same “type” thinking that maybe this person will be different.  There is always that chance, but it is not likely.  If you continue to go after the same type of people, then you can expect to get the same results unless you catch a diamond in the rough.

I have talked about this many times, the simple fact that people are too focused on external forces.  Our society is built on marketing and perception, and regardless of the truth people gravitate towards people who look like they have it together on the outside.  The assumption is a well-dressed, nice looking person does not have any deal breaking problems, when in fact that almost has nothing to do with it.  It is a difficult thing to do, at some point people may have to get past all the external features and simply find someone who they can enjoy being around regardless of how they look.

Dating To Compensate

There are many reasons that can cause this, people who have had a bad history of unsuccessful relationships may not know themselves well enough to know what will actually make them happy.  These people are unable to evaluate themselves and look at the things they may be looking for that is not good for them.  The first step to finding someone who is right for you is to know yourself, and what truly will make you happy will then be easy to determine.

This behavior will also lead people to try and compensate for their own shortcomings by finding a partner who does not have the same ones.  For example if a person does not keep a clean home, they may try to find someone who is neat and well organized.  At times if a person has confidence issues or feels inadequate they may date someone smaller than them, so that they feel dominant.  These are all stupid ways to pick someone to be with, people treat dating like they’re picking fruit in the grocery store.

man-texting-while-on-date

Another trend that seems to occur often is that people date to resolve past hurts, or emotional issues.  Humans are emotional beings who can accumulate just as many scars emotionally as they can physically, so a protection mechanism kicks in that attempts to shield people from being hurt.  This will lead to a person always looking for someone who is safe, reassuring, or wants to spend all of their time with them.

These factors lead to many failed relationships because people will never realize that they are dating the wrong type of people in the first place.  Take some time and try to understand what will truly make you happy, and get away from what you think will make you happy.  You may find that there is a big difference between the two and you need to adjust the type of people you are dating in order to have a bit more success.

Why Looking to Dating a Certain “Type” of Person can Lead you to Relationship Ruin! originally appeared on The Shooting Range.

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