You’ve probably heard the saying don’t blame the player blame the game (we could probably say don’t blame the player blame the dame), but what kind of friends do you have, if you can’t trust them around your girl? There are two very different opinions on trust, one pretends that men have no self control, and the other makes women into blameless victims. Some guys believe that it’s the ultimate test of their girl’s loyalty if she can suffer the whims of the crowd and then there are guys who believe that their boys should know better, even if their girl is giving them positive feedback when they push up on her. This all goes to show that some men do not abide by the rules. The man laws clearly state that you should place your friend’s woman in the same category as moms and sisters but we all know that this is hardly respected or practiced.
It is important to know who your friends are and what they are capable of when it comes to women. I will state this and it is something I have grown to live by when it comes to male friends: A friend can take a bullet for you and still turn around and sleep with your girl.
This is not to infer that females cannot be the aggressor in these situations. Let’s take a look at the most famous case of this, the tale of King Arthur. As you all know Lancelot was the greatest of all knights. Out of 25 kickass knights in Arthur’s army, Lancelot had armor to rival even the legendary Excalibur (Arthur’s heavenly sword), had the fighting skills to bring down armies and had the looks to take any woman in all the land. Yet one of Lancelot’s strongest traits was his honor and reverence for his king. People barely think of Lancelot as Arthur’s greatest knight, however people remember him for committing the greatest sin a man can commit. Lancelot slept with Arthur’s wife Guinevere and severed the trust with his king. It all began with Lancelot meeting Guinevere for the first time and instantly falling in love with her. Can we be mad at the perfect knight? Guinevere was already married and still chose to have a secret rendezvous with the knight. In modern day terms, you can say that Gwen threw it on him, and if any of us were flushed with passion like Lancelot was, we would do it too.
What could Lancelot have done to keep his honor and prevent the adultery from occurring? He couldn’t have told the king, I know many of us use that argument as a way out of that predicament. You say “just tell your boy that his girl has been flirting with you and you are feeling her”. Not everyone is mature enough to deal with that kind of situation. Some friends may damn near punch you in the mouth or worse yet punch her for the accusation. So what can you do? Int he story, Lancelot tried the “moving away” approach, but Guinevere found him.
What can you do to prevent this situation?
You need to be strong, but we are all prone to making mistakes, even horrible mistakes like screwing a friend’s wife. Infidelity is an unforgivable act that warrants death in some situations. Passion and honor are two things that measure the length of a man and many men don’t take the aspect of losing face easily. Religion cannot prevent it, fear of death cannot prevent it and even the Man Laws cannot help it. So here is what you can do to help it. Open your eyes, have open communication with your fellows and most importantly, know who your boys are and what they are capable of.
In cases of women, I know which friends are the true gangsters, and which ones are suckers for love. The sucker for love guys are the ones that will more than likely Lancelot your girl when you are shipped off on active duty for the military, take a job out of town or get locked up. These “friends” may talk a good game, but when your friendly girlfriend, fiancé, or wife seeks them out for comfort, they will stick it in.
Had Arthur opened his eyes to the passion and want behind his friend’s eyes when observing his queen, he would have seen it coming. To have your guard down during the happiest of times, the way the king did was the opportune time to have a cheating queen. Know your friends, know their weaknesses and keep your eyes open. I am not saying to act the part of a jealous fool who handcuffs his woman out of insecurity but at the same time you cannot make yourself blind either.
Remember, if you find yourself wondering, “did Billy just flirt with my girl in front of me?” Remember Lancelot, Arthur’s greatest knight, if he could sleep with Guinevere then Billy will hit your girl.
This article was modified from its original September 16th, 2009 posting.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.