Apr 12

diznee modelShe’s comfortable wearing a velour jogging suit, sneakers and no make-up when you go to the sports bar. She can throw a spiral as well as run a post to actually catch the ball. She hates how women back stab each other so she keeps at most one girlfriend choosing instead the company of guys. She either ran track or played volleyball in college, keeps up with a professional team and can stomach beer. She is sexy all the time but beautiful when she dons make-up and skirt for her friend’s wedding or dinner party. She is the quintessential hot tomboy.

She is the woman that most guys go crazy over on paper, but few guys actively pursue in life. Most women like this are snatched up out of college; they are godsends, goldmines, and diamonds in the rough for an athletic type of guy. They make for low maintenance, highly loyal and cool girlfriends for the college ball player. Yet in life as college ends and we hit the workforce they get lost amidst the pant-suits, the seasonal fashion and the girly girls. It becomes difficult to figure out who will watch football with you and who will force you to give up the television because you watch too many sporting events. It’s as if the window shrinks and the chance at the ultimate tomboy girlfriend goes away. You are probably wondering why I am making these women out to be the best things since sliced bread, but let’s consider the pros and cons.


The tomboy is a natural beauty; if she wasn’t you would not have started talking to her in the first place. She is dressed down 99% of the time so what you see is what you get. She likes a lot of the things you like, it’s an instant attraction based on interests. She will play Tekken with you, try to outrun you, tackle you and keep you on your toes within an active lifestyle. She is guaranteed to stay in shape, based on the background of athletics throughout her life – going to the spa, and shopping are not what she considers activity. Like I said before, for the athlete, this is the woman that is seen as gold.


If you want a woman who is dolled up 24/7 to impress Chip and the boys around town then you don’t want a tomboy. For guys who get turned off about women who know stats or show interest in professional sport teams etc. then she will no doubt piss you off. For guys who worry about a woman who may be physically faster, stronger and better than them, then this ex track running, weight-lifting, volleyball serving femme is definitely not the one. For guys who get extremely jealous with their females for having more than a few male friends – stay far away from this woman. I re-iterate, most tomboys do not keep a collective of female friends. They roll with dudes, which is why they are the way they are, deal or leave.

In the rounds of life beyond high school and college you will have to be creative to find a woman of this make and model. Online dating yields easy access since you can search for women who workout 3-4 times a week, list things like watching football and running as part of their hobbies or just seeing the picture they post says a lot. Look for a tight body in a sweat suit with a ponytail; they aren’t that hard to miss. I am a big fan of tomboys, since parading your business among girlfriends seem to be the norm for the girly girl. Just keep in mind that a lot of what goes into dating a tomboy falls squarely on your shoulders. Do you dare to handle it, or do you prefer a traditional build? You already know what I like, are you feeling me or do you think otherwise?

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  • I’m feeling you on this one. Great article again. Keep them coming.

    • Cindy Fisher

      I am fifty three years old and am deff. A tomboy since birth..lol
      Jumping barbed wire fences, riding dirt bikes and barrell racing, basket ball are just a few off the thimgs I did as a teen.
      I am a carpenter apprentece , and have a total off one girlfriend..lol!
      I love boxing with one off my four brothers at any given time!
      I am also very nurturing too ..that is my one female trait..
      I just wish I would not be judged so much bc I was born this way..
      And am really a free spirited , loyal, adventurous, soul..!

      • Cindy Fisher

        Sorry about the typos..lol

  • Jane

    > They roll with dudes, which is why they are the way they are, deal or leave.

    Heh! So true. Most of my friends are guys because we share common interests like technology and science, and I’d never give them up, not ever. Those with jealousy, possessiveness, and trust issues need not apply.

    WYSIWYG – Copy that. Looks *and* personality-wise. 🙂

    Btw, it’s worth mentioning that not all of us are serious athletes or big-time sports buffs. Not that I don’t enjoy a good game of tackle football sometimes, mind you. But some of us prefer to get our geek on, fixing/modding electronics or sitting down to do a little shell scripting. Just sayin’.

  • Guest

    The fact is tomboyish girls are more likely to cheat, especially when they are attractive, because they hang around guys a lot and these guys can easily tempt these girls to stray from you. Also, tomboyish girls are less likely to commit to relationships.

    • I’ve dated many women and I can say that without a doubt, the best relationships I’ve had were with the attractive tomboys. The tomboys I have dated and the ones that I know are not cheaters, maybe in your reality you’ve had that experience but for myself and several other men that helped me put this piece together tomboys are loyal once committed. This isn’t to say they are 100% faithful, people are people and circumstances dictate action. I just cannot agree with a blanket assumption that being attractive with a lot of guy friends automatically equates to a whore, this is an old religious construct that stigmatizes every woman who dares to like things outside of pink dresses and Barbie Dolls.

      While a tomboy may not realize that she is attractive till later on in life, or even believe it when guys flirt, this doesn’t mean that she won’t accept a boyfriend or husband. Like I’ve stated, I have dated and been in relationships with several – hell a nerdy/rough girl IS my preference and I have never had a problem finding one. The one girl that I have experienced infidelity with was as girly as they come, and I can put money on it that many guys with stripes in the dating arena will echo my sentiments.

      Tomboys rock, my immediate wolf-pack agrees whole-heartedly on this and the ones who seem to have issue with it tend to be women.

  • I am a real true tomboy- but people think I’m weird. I mean I am so different from all the other pink plastic girls- I am considered crazy and weird. Even though I could care less about what they think- and I punch them in the face for saying that- it’s still sad. I hate to say it- but I cry sometimes it’s that bad. My life is so messed up. Sigh.

    • Hey Shayla, thanks for spending some time in The Hall. Let’s be honest hon you do care what they think, if you didn’t you wouldn’t consider your life to be messed up based on other people’s idea of you. Continue to be yourself and strive for things that will make you happy beyond the box that the pink plastic girls will paint you in. Lots of girly girls want to be tomboys but they are so afraid of the scrutiny that society pushes on them that they brush it off as silly and ridicule the women who do whatever it is they feel. There’s love out there for everybody, and it is more important to love yourself since that will influence others to do the same. Enjoy my halls and I hope that things get better for you.

  • Kiera

    Hey there! I enjoyed this read. I myself am a total tomboy and have been from a very young age – while the girls skipped rope in the playground and bitched, I was playing football with the guys and climbing trees – I love the way I am. I enjoy the comfort of dressing down, wearing no make up and not spending hours doing my hair and most of all, I love all of my male friends – I like to play fight and geek out and enjoy the things I like. I don’t agree with a fellow commenter who claims we are more likely to be unfaithful. 99% of my friends are male and the only one of them I’ve been attracted to is now my fiance – I have never cheated on him and never will and what’s better still is that he is my friend as well as my love and we share the same group of lads -good (non-girly) times are always to be had 🙂

    • Hi Kiera, your fiance is one lucky s.o.b. – I’m sure he knows that. I get so many negative comments whenever I talk tomboys and one of the ones not listed here that I had to answer with an article (set to be published 10/2) is the ignorant assertion that men who are attracted to women like yourself are secretly gay… SIGH. Can you believe that?

      So on one hand people want to make you out to be gay, then if you aren’t gay then you are sleeping with every guy you talk to, and if that isn’t happening then the guys attracted to you all secretly likes boys. Why so much hate for tomboys? Is it because women (who are already largely jealous of women who get near their men) try to label you with even more negativity in order to project their hate for a tomboy in their lives?

  • Martina

    What about those who fall somewhere in between? When I think of a perfect tomboy I think Lolo Jones or Gina Carano. I look up to these women but I have never been that athletic . I also can’t talk sports to save my life. Occasionally I will play stuff like Tekken or Age of empires but not avid enough to be a girl gamer. I hate parading my business and am too casual in my appearance to warrant the girly-girl title yet I love to shop, especially for clothes. The conclusion is; I’m something in between because I’m missing just enough essential characteristics to fit either one.

    • Hey Martina, as with everything balance is optimum so it sounds to me like you’re just an all around open-minded girl with no real attachment to any sub-group. It’s interesting that while it may seem like limbo there are many women just like yourself who can change mode at the drop of a hat. In my opinion it still qualifies you as a Tomboy – the only thing is that you probably get along easier with other women than a hardcore tomboy could.

      So you play Age of Empires? Lol that’s awesome.

    • Gwen Mahdi

      hey, i think we’re in the same boat. i used to be a tomboy when i was a kid. as i grew up, i find myself somewhere in the middle. i’m not a girly girl, or a tomboy. maybe boyish is the word?

  • Courtney

    I realize that this article was written a while ago, but it brought me a lot of comfort today. I have been taking a lot of flak lately (not that I don’t normally) about how I’m broken because I don’t get along with girls. The truth is, most girls and I just don’t have a lot in common. I’m not a fan of shopping (unless its for electronics or games), I don’t like make up, and I have better things to do then spend hours on my hair. That and female pissing contests are ridiculous. Congrats on spending $600 dollars on a purse that ultimately still just holds a lot of crap. The truth is tomboys just have different interests so we hang out with people that have those same interests. Those people just tend to be guys. That doesn’t make us men or lesbians. Seriously people, are you that narrow minded that you think all people have to fit your sterotypical mould? I am not attracted to women at all. Never have been or will be. Dragon, thank you for writing this article and reminding tomboys that not all guys are attracted to our girly girl counterparts.

    • Darslow

      You are not alone Courtney. I used to think something was wrong with me, because I didn’t have an hour-glass build, liked to climb trees, wrestle with boys, and wear my Nike sneakers and jeans. But, over time, I have learned that being myself and never letting go of that has been the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m proud of who I am and my low maintenance lifestyle. I would never want to be anyone other than who I am. I’m glad you feel similarly.

    • Tomboy Tarts

      Yup – we are femme tomboys but we don’t have a lot of girly girls in our community. Their mantra in life seems to be ‘look pretty – get a rich guy – get married – have a family -die’. They are absolutely one-dimensional girls with nothing interesting to offer the world. They also tend to promise and not deliver and it’s strange, we don’t have a very good opinion of these ‘men-trappers’. Life just revolves around guys, how to please them or use them for their own schemes and ends. Tomboys are straight forward and they rarely have filtered thinking. They also have actual depth and have their own hobbies. Which is probably why a lot of girly-girls don’t like hanging out with tomboys.

  • Tommie Slade

    I love tomboys. What I want to know where do I find them that want to date? Is there a website or something like that??

    • Fifi

      Pursue clubs that involve outdoor activities.You’ll find your tomboy. : )

  • Tomboy Tarts

    Thanks Greg for writing this article. Some of this is true, especially about the fact that most of us femme tomboys are not into shopping. We shop, yes, but accumulating makeup and bags is not our obsession. At the same time, don’t think that all of us are into sports and tackling each other. That is a misconception because there are many of us tomboys who are just geeks. We love our tech. We love learning new tech. We love geeky shows, read, enjoy detective and fantasy stuff and when we travel, we’re not looking for poolside vacations. We want adventure or road trips/camping holidays.

    • Agreed, and as someone who works in IT I share spaces with many geeky tomboys who are both into sports or can care less. I didn’t intend to write this as a one size fits all, more like traits that may or may not be a part of the delightful package.

    • Kristy

      So girly girls can’t be IT geeks or into sport? Ha. You are delusional.

  • some person

    yeah but tomboys or well tomboys like me don’t wear what’s in the picture….they wear only loose guy t-shirts long shorts like basket ball shorts and short hair also in the winter they wear jeans,guy sweatshirts(the fall) and guy jackets (all loose and even a bit too big) just saying a bit too feminine there for a tomboy… or from what i hear we wear something guys do. and tbh i think tomboys can mostly just be cute and yeah maybe even sexy but i would say almost the same amount as cute but not exactly….maybe half way 50% of sexy tomboys and 90% of cute ones. not even at party do i like to wear dresses ever. i like to wear casual,long-sleeve, button down and a tie and i don’t mean a blouse. the pool i also wear bathing suite-shirt top and long bathing suit pants. when working out t-shirt and basket ball sorts. not that im saying you can’t dress the way you wan’t as a tomboy im just saying what most tomboys i know do wear or would rather wear. but guys should really look at a girl in the face and not the body there minds is what really matters when it comes to love… don’t just date a tomboy because there not girly or are sexy.girly-girls can be great depending on who they are. what im saying is be with who ever not because there a tomboy,girly,or just a regular girl the personality count more then anything! if there fat,emo,goth most of them still look beautiful you don’t need a good body to look good or to date someone. hope you guys understand just keep doing what you do and find your match. ^u^

    • some person

      sorry about the miner mistakes

  • Kim

    I am the only child and an arien at that. I grew up a tom boy playing sports, hunting, hiking, whitewater rafting,motorcycles,biking, loving the outdoors. But on the flip side can change on a dime and dress up and love the classy girl in me. I can love plays, sitting t a park, going to museums, dancing, wine and dine aside from my beers. I can relate better with men than women but I have my girl friends that are independent I get along with well. I don’t like emotional drama. I don’t like to shop for clothes but will shop hard seasonal and then I’m done in a few hours. My ex husband was an arien too. We were both very out going. I will agree I am a diamond in the rough. I love life, I love to encourage the women to be independent, love themselves, be confident but not overbearing. I love my traits because I can relate to men and women both. This really helps in the workforce too. When I travel, I meet all walks of life and can have nice conversations with stranger. I also like my space and privacy very much. I would not change one thing having grown up with tomboy traits and feminine both. I have the best of both worlds.

    • Letty Noodles

      you sound like me and like the perfect girl for me haha

  • handsomerandyblackladdiebrad

    If she’s got big boobs,she’s just the babe for me!!!!!(I like curvy cowgirls/farmers’ daughters!!!!!!!)

  • Rachelle Kebaili

    I am definitely a tomboy. I’ve been told I have male energy. I believe it. Although I will throw a pair of heels on from time to time, I prefer sneakers and flats. Thank God I’m tall. I love training at the gym. Feeling strong is something very appealing to us tomboys. And yes we definitely love our sports and we sound like dudes when we talk, bro. All my female friends are tomboys and the rest of my friends are dudes. I once tried to be friends with a girly girl and she acted like an insecure diva. No thanks! I prefer to be around women who are very comfortable in their skin and that’s tomboys. It’s a great quality in a woman. 🙂

    • OutsandingMan2007

      Hello Rachelle,
      Me being a martial artists that does a lot of physical training and I do love strong women that can handle herself well. I do love playing videos games, going to the gym working out and watch sports on tV. You seem very interesting person to be around. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the topic of the pros and cons. Most of all keep strong in this world. (smiles)

  • Aimee McCarthy

    Yeah, I’m mostly a geeky tomboy (except for the occasional girly shirt when I feel like wearing one) and some people do think I’m gay, but I love men, and sometimes it saddens me to think that men wouldn’t date tomboys (or androgynous women, whatever ppl call it). So, it’s nice to see that there are some sites telling men to at least give it try.

    • Kez

      i’m a normal man and my gf is a tomboy, the good news that i’ll marry her in the next month and i really love her 🙂
      so you’ll find your man, just give it some time 😉

    • Babsley Cornback

      Aimee !! Here I am ! 5 months late but hey, they don’t call me the stewed prune because I stare at chicken utensils all day. Wanna get together? I’m having Droodles Noodles for lunch and just checked out of Tommy Foreman’s carjacking sale. Pretzel for life, babe ! Much love ! 😉 Xo

    • victoria grullon

      It’s ok I am a tomboy and lots of guys ask me out just be your self 100%

  • Kristy

    I’m a girly girl and am definitely not about getting a rich guy or settling down to a family. Way to generalise at least half the female population. Sorry I didn’t realise you had to be a tomboy to be smart, have a career, have your own money. I can hang out with guys and play video games and play fight and wrestle( (because all I care about is finding a man ha), just because I live in heels and love doing my hair and makeup doesn’t make you any better than me. I feel sorry for you guys that you can’t mix with both male and female company equally.

  • Draconic Knight

    I’m not really into sports, but am definitely a tomboy. I don’t wear makeup all the time and you will never see me in heels. I do however, love video games, nature (hiking, camping, fishing etc). I would rather go out and have fun than shop all day, or spend hours trying to prove to others how good I look.

    • victoria

      What’s a tomboy

  • manuel flores

    Does all athletic tomboys prefer to date athletic guys?

    • Don’t I wish. The women I knew that were athletic seemed to always end up with a “regular dude”. Athletic guys love athletic women, but I’m not so sure if the same goes for the other side.

    • victoria grullon

      Yes being the male I will like him to be better then me.(if he can) hahhahha

  • Tomboyandiloveit

    It’s the personality that counts who cares what kind of hair the women has! If men don’t like it they can piss the hell off! It’s not nice to judge someone by there looks it’s rude and very selfish! And besides I am a Tomboy!

  • Howard Thomas

    my childhood friend was a tomboy,she was like a homie we were tight, so much she used to turn her girls on to me they were tomboys.from that point on those kinds girls used to draw to me.Its nice when a girl has your back.

  • What I like about tomboys, or women who commit in pushing limits, is their determination and drive. No matter the obstacle, whether a sport or situations in life, they will fight to win. I’ve met a few, and while we did not connect as possible lovers, we did connect as friends. Continue to fight and to strive, and if it’s love you desire, it’ll come in due time.

  • Chrys

    a tomboy x femboy couple would be an interesting mechanic

    • Cannibus

      Have you watched Rugrats? There’s literally a married couple in the show (with twins), were one is a tomgirl (frail and skinny type) and the other a straight up jock tomboy. Or another (bad) cartoon show called Johnny Test (the title is already a bad enough pun for the shows plot…), where the main character’s dad is a tomgirl, and mother is a bit tomboyish (at least in my opinion) where she actually works while dad stays at home, a “stay-at-home dad” if you will. But those are just cartoons. Never saw that type irl, tbh. Would be interesting though…

  • Sarah Nduta Waweru

    I`m a Tom boy, at the beginning I din`t understand it, my family and community thought of me as a weird character.
    I`m 5th born in a family of 8, 6 boys and one girl/ our last born is the only sister I have.
    And I must admit that, I`m very proud of my personality. I like spending time with men simply because they don`t hung around wasting time discussing their wives, girl friends/gossip, rather they talk sense, I mean productive talks, ie career, business sports politics and governance. This has made me a successful career woman/Tomboy.
    I am a single mother of one and simply happy.