Aug 09

two girls giggling

Part One: It’s Deeper Than The Women

Recently I read a wonderful post by Peter Lloyd on the topic of male enhancement surgery and the huge surge of men rushing out to get it. The article touched on the self-image issues that many men have, especially in the penis size department and the drastic steps we take to get past it.

Mr. Lloyd’s points were solid, especially concerning the impact size has in the love life and personal life of men worldwide. But the one portion of his article that I couldn’t agree on was the assertion that it is the fault of women that we are so penis-conscious. I move that it is our own fault gentlemen, and it is something that we put on each other from the time that we are innocent children playing in the bathtub to adults comparing ourselves to 12 inch porn stars.

The Locker Room Argument

Of what I have observed of men and the locker room, there are generally only 2 types that are comfortable with being nude around one another. The first is the veteran (think athlete, ex-con, military personnel), having had to shower and be nude around other males in the past. The second seems to be the elderly man who has given up on the superficial restraints of societal bashfulness. Even as an ex-athlete myself, I tend to dress quietly in a corner, keep my eyes ahead of me, and refuse conversation whilst myself and another man is in the nude.

The reason why the average man shies away from seeing a man naked is because society has deemed it taboo. Naked men repulse us even though we ourselves are men; I believe it comes from a combination of homophobia and self-image issues. You have 5 men naked in a room and they are so stressed out about appearing gay that they get damn near hostile about it.

“hey man what the f-ck are you looking at?”

Yet the relaxation of the widespread popularity in homophobia will not fix our issues with nudity. It is a cultural thing that is so embedded into our society that it’s damn near a rule. Pee looking straight ahead, never mention another man’s package, and only rap about your penis if it’s 9.5 inches or longer. Notice that in all of this I have yet to mention a woman?

Where does the ridicule of women come in?

While it may seem that women sit around giggling evilly, talking about how their man isn’t long enough to “stretch their insides” and other such nonsense, women tend to have bigger complaints than your below average penis. Women swap notes yes, but only the girls we used to call ruined (the hotdog down the hallway theory) are sitting around stressing that their guys don’t go by names like Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steel or Peter North. I will elaborate on this in Pt.2.

Men, who frequently misunderstand women, have taken the insults of ex-girlfriends past and applied it to every woman and marked it off as fact. To think that some women complain that their guy is too big, hurts them when they go too hard at it, yet the man is supposed to take that as a compliment to his… manhood. Lets call it the Santino Corleone problem… for those of you who read The Godfather.

black dynamiteWe men have now gotten to the point where a penis defines us. As a man you cannot imagine a super macho beast of a guy without thinking that he’s packing a lot in his pants. Think of the hilariously funny Black Dynamite played by Michael Jai White. Can you imagine B.D. not having a “woman killer” in his pants? No you can’t and the need for men to be macho and be as manly as possible leads to us growing up feeling less than in many ways due to underlying thoughts like this.

The other culprits are: our obsession with porn; our need for perfection; our fear of homosexuals, and much, much more. But I cannot fit it all into this one segment so please stay tuned.

There was a time when men could be nude around one another without the need for comparison checks, penile implants, and feelings of inadequacy. So what do you think my fellow denizens, am I correct that this is an issue that we have with ourselves and not so much a woman’s fault? Speak your mind, and tune in for Part 2 of The Real Culprit Behind Our Penis Issues.

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  • Excellent article! Men are largely to blame for the issues discussed in this article, including this desire to find remedies for a larger penis. People need to learn to appreciate who they are more and then they will not have a proclivity to focus on what they are not and what they don’t have.

    • Exactly and I hope that by the end of this series most men will be able to realize how silly we are for worrying about what we ourselves and the other man has in his pants. I blame homophobia for a large bit of our bashfulness around one another, and I blame our addiction to porn for our feelings of inadequacy in general. Only after we come to terms with our own issues can we bring women into the picture and go at them for furthering this terrible stigma.

  • This is an excellent piece. I have to agree with you. This type of thinking falls heavily on the man. If a man is secure in who he is and loves himself, there is nothing a woman or another person can say to mess up his stride. It’s all about men learning how to love themselves for who they are and not what they have in their pants or what other people think they are packing.

    In regards to women and size, I’m sure there are plenty of women who would roll with love over a big wang. I’m just sayin. A real woman is going to fall in love with the man…not a penis.

  • Meroujan

    great article!

    Everything you said is true! We have this unnatural fear of our penis size and it really mostly boils down to feeling like less of a man, not solely to women but to each other (men). That may sound weird but who woudn’t like all their friends to consier them the big penis guy?!!

    We all would love that, it gives us this untouchable position within our social group. And just that feeling alone would be enough to give us confidence with the ladies..
    So it goes to show that we are equally concerned with what men think of our penis.

    After watching this documentary about penis size I have come to the same conclusion as him, we need to have male groups where men can discuss their fears and anxieties(or forums online), to break down these lies that we feed each other about our penis size. Once we do this, we will stop this cycle we have going on and become more suportive towards each other. Only then will we not fear what women might say.

    If you think about it men really only lie to each other about their penis size, they dont actually talk about it.. women on the other hand at least have a support system between themselves where they can discuss their fears on their breast size or even vaginal problems. So if a male ends up making fun of their boobs they can discuss it with their girlfriends however us men end up carying that anxiety and have nowhere else to go and those fears end up growing and becoming lifelong problems which ultimately end up in impotence.

    The only solution i can think of are male support groups to help each other build up that lack of confidence most of us seam to have.

    anyway, great article man!!
    When is part 2 coming out??

    • Hey Meroujan, thanks for the feedback! Not sure why our articles never link forward but I’ve added the link to part 2 below it now so that it won’t happen again (

      The problem I wrote about here may be penis related but when you think about it a lot of our self-image issues, confidence, and general issues with one another as men stems from the fact that we are not honest with one another. Like you said women tend to have that level of communication and it can be a useful refuge when the opposite sex attacks. As men we are made to be islands.

      This culture of solidarity is so ingrained into us that it would take a lot of years before you see a noticeable change. The only thing I feel that I can do personally is to study, become more aware, and educate young men to try and break the cycle of hostility and inadequacy that men as a whole feel in society.

      Part 2 deals heavily with our misconception that women laugh at our size and tries to define the type of woman that goes there versus the ones who keep it to themselves. I appreciate your reading this and please feel free to add more of your thoughts on this very subject.

      It’s sad that I can see the numbers of men reading but only 1 out of 100 would be brave enough to enter the conversation because as I’ve stated the problem is THAT deep.

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