Jun 28

crazy second date

It’s interesting how things get misinterpreted in the dating game due to lack of communication between the sexes. One of the biggest examples of this is when a guy stops calling after what seems to the woman to have been the perfect 2nd date. She’s confused, he moves on and she tells all her friends about it.

So what really happens after that 2nd date to make a guy vanish from what a woman could read as an obvious love connection? Ask a woman and she will say one of many things that are nowhere near accurate.

Having dropped a few numbers myself in the past, and speaking with men out there dating today – I will present you with the real reasons why you never got a call back from that guy:

Darren S.

Single, IT Professional who dates to find his future wife.

Women consider it a perfect date because I paid and sat there smiling while they offended me and/or bored me to death with their conversation. If there is a personality clash I won’t call and she may not even know it.

I’ve had girls offend me by talking about things or other people that hit close to home, and I have had women who were just plain old lame. I don’t owe any of them an explanation because we were just dating so of course I just get rid of their number.

Brian M.

Single, Entrepreneur who dates to find a good match.

I never really learned how to say “I don’t think we are compatible” to someone…

I would say because I didn’t have the heart to tell her that “I don’t think we are compatible” upfront.  I know rather quickly whether I’m into a girl or not, usually within the first 5-10 minutes of meeting them so I know right away that I won’t be calling her back.

But I still go through the date and try to make the most of it.  She ends up having a good time, usually.  It’s really my fault for giving her the wrong impression at the end of the date because they usually ask to hang out again and I never do.

Levon M.

Hopeless romantic – Waiter at a popular restaurant

I went on a date with this one girl, she had a blast; kept calling me for like 3 weeks straight after the date asking to hang out. I never called her back because she smoked and had less than stellar teeth.

The sad part was this girl was like “Now that you met me, I bet you won’t call me back.” I asked her “why would you think that?” I thought she was crazy, even though she was right. I answered her question with a question to get off the hook then stopped calling her afterwards.

Daniel L.

Sales Manager for a very popular toy company – Chronic dater

Well they show their baggage early and often, the more it starts to look like I am going to be more psychologist than boyfriend it makes the decision easy – I just stop calling.

One example – I met this chick and we went on a date to a restaurant; they have TV’s in there of course.  While we are talking you know I am looking around and see some dude bust his ass on one of the TV’s and I start giggling.  She immediately assumes I am laughing at her and keeps asking me what’s funny.

I point out the guy on the TV and she didn’t think it was funny, and goes back into her diatribe about men and how she was done wrong in her past relationship.  I could have poured a 32 oz. drink of the low self-esteem she was exuding. 

 It was clear she was insecure and was still dealing with her previous relationship.  She was nice and I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t be that guy to help her get over her problems!

Conclusion

It goes right back to the same problem men have with women and rejection – basically we are afraid of hurting feelings so we choose to silently depart. Bad communication; you talk too much; you smoke; you have bad teeth; all can be summed up into one statement:

“I am not really feeling you to date you any further so this is goodbye.”

Saying this will lead to more questions where a woman may want a whole score card on the date and where she went wrong. This isn’t something any guy would want to answer, so again it’s easier to just disappear and dodge her phone calls… eventually she gets the hint right?

So ladies and gentlemen, what do you think about this? Is this news to you, or was it easier to believe that he didn’t call because you wouldn’t sleep with him?

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  • Joy Guyton

    So not hurting her feelings on the initial date will somehow spare her feelings later on when you stop returning her calls? *blank stare*

    Just be a man about it. How foolish and childish to ignore a woman and/or play guessing games. Tell her so she isn’t assuming that you are busy, dead, ignoring her for unknown reasons or have cell phone service issues. Jerks!

  • marcia

    when a guy says they’re a gentlemen, that includes being mindful of having the courage to tell a lady after a 2nd ddate, this was nice, had a great time, but I don’t think we are compatible, or match, something…. rather than leave an impression that all is good and creating some false intention to lead the lady on that there will another date, then no follow through. Sounds stupid when a man says they’re also a man of their word, but don’t honor it. dumbass

  • Toya Jackson

    I am a woman and my situation is the opposite. The date was a disaster and he thought it was memorable and perfect. I will take your advise and not take his calls.