Jun 22

mildred patricia baena

Editor’s Note: I use very strong language in this post so care bears beware.

There seems to be this attitude from people on the outside that the woman you cheat on your wife with had better look a lot better than your wife does. We take for granted the situation with which you meet and eventually begin sleeping with these women and instead imagine the world that Hollywood gives us in terms of “the jump-off”.

Consider Tony Soprano, a husky mob boss on HBO’s The Sopranos who leaves the thick goodness that is his wife Carmella (played by Edie Falco) to go play in some of the most beautiful Italian and Russian women’s bedrooms. Tony pursues these women because he doesn’t respect his wife and family, he is a predatory person in all aspects of his life so marriage vows are a joke – he sees them, he woos them and then he jumps them – which they enjoy. Most men aren’t Tony Soprano, most men will sleep with anything that is easy enough to pull without much effort and looks be damned it’s still new. New pussy trumps everything including looks and it isn’t an equation that men make when they are about to do the deed. Men cheat with ugly women because the ugly women were in the right place at the right time… just like the beautiful ones!

…if the sex is situational you aren’t picking who the recipient is…

Most married men I know notice a fine woman 10 times faster than us single guys – they are zoned in, but they view it as innocent window shopping. A man’s natural nature is to fuck everything that moves, so vows or no vows a dog is still going to eye a juicy bone. Strong men keep it honest but let a lusty woman come around him when things aren’t roses at home and he will jump into her fast without thinking about it. Men rarely pre-meditate a jump-off situation, we’re upset, she’s available, we’re vulnerable, she’s horny, we run up inside her without a condom. It happens all the time and in the morning we’re like “what the hell did I just do?”

don draper and a young girl

Having Money and Fame Doesn’t Make You Donald Draper

We can’t all be smooth like Mad Men’s Donald Draper, he’s a fictional character. Jump-offs don’t look as good as his does for the average married guy, no, they look like the mom next door. Only a real sleazeball like Tony Soprano goes gunning for outside booty that is of dime piece quality. Fame doesn’t matter, nor does money, if the sex is situational you aren’t picking who the recipient is… you just grab the one who’s convenient. I see women laughing at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex-housekeeper Mildred Patricia Baena for looking tired, old and unattractive compared to his Kennedy wife Maria Shriver. Do you birds think that Maria would have reacted differently if Arnold had knocked up Monica Bellucci? Of course not! The issue is that he had an illegitimate child with another woman and that boy will now be the Jon Snow of Hollywood.

So remember, it’s not about the looks of the woman we cheated with, it’s about the fact that we cheated. An ugly jump-off shows that shit was awry at home and your man found the bed of another woman to take care of it, similarly a dime piece of a jump-off may mean that you married a Tony Soprano caliber of dog. It’s all speculative but most times the cheater isn’t choosing, he’s just thrusting and many times because of the moment he’s thrusting without a condom for protection.

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  • J

    Very interesting viewpoint. Thanks.

  • Ugly mistress

    He left me for a much younger but fat ugly illiterate white woman who can’t even write a complete sentence .

  • Wiser

    To Ugly Mistress: He thought you were either: too good for him or he did not want someone to grab the spotlight. If he was a spoiled brat, the latter applies. But hey, don’t put down the other woman, he’ s the issue, not her. Time to go to church, or therapy and learn to forgive and move on. He has. Bitterness will kill you and everything else, and you deserve a good life and man. Forgive and forget the love that obviously wasn’t there because he did not respect you.