Jun 10

13 Principles for having fun without the tricks!

For this article I would like to thank the rest of the “Vegas Losers” for their invaluable input in writing this guide. Combined myself and the boys have over 40 years of Strip Club experience so do not fear we give advice from reality not theory. This guide is meant to be for the newcomers to the Strip Club experience, following our lead will allow you to have fun without being tricked out your check. Remember, it’s only dirty if you let your girlfriend talk you into believing it is, but like everything else you must abide by the code.

  1. Don’t bring your debit card inside.
  2. Never go to a Strip Club drunk without supervision
  3. Get over yourself, strippers don’t find you sexy. It’s their job to flirt and make you feel good enough to buy a dance.
  4. Keep your ones in one pocket and your big bills in another. Nothing like tipping $100 when you meant to give her a one!
  5. Don’t get a dance from the first chick that asks you, even if she is the one you wanted.  Wait and get a lay of the land first.
  6. Your hands can roam but only as much as she lets you, keep one eye on the bouncer and the other on your money roll. Explore until she tells you no, then you probably need to chill out and enjoy the ride.
  7. If the prices for lap dances are negotiable, then negotiate. If a chick says “my dances are $30” you tell her you will give her $25.  If she says no, tell her to bounce.
  8. A good clue if you have even the slightest chance with a stripper is if you turn them down for a dance and they still sit and chat with you, then they either find you attractive or your more interesting then the rest of the clowns in the club.
  9. If two chicks come up to you asking you to team dance, tell them no.  Team dances are a rip-off, you can’t grope effectively, and you basically pay $60 for one song and half of two women.  You are too distracted to get the value out of it, stick with one banging broad and keep your hands busy it’s a better value.
  10. Keep track of the songs and never let a stripper stay on you in order for you to “pay later”. She will either milk you for dances or jack up the price without you knowing it.
  11. Never become a regular in a Strip Club.  What I mean by regular is if your hitting the place ever other week when it’s payday to see the same girl then you are now supporting her.  It is okay to frequent an establishment and have your favorite girl, but make her work for your money and have some doubt about getting it from you.
  12. Making it rain does not earn you “extra points” with the strippers, it makes you look like a duck unless you have been spending cash all night like a whale and then make it rain in a drunken frenzy. Normally guys “making it rain” are broke kids emulating rappers and will disappoint the strippers more-so than impressing them.
  13. Just because a stripper adds you on Facebook does not mean she is going to bang you, remember having you coming back for more is their goal and anything they can do to get you back into the club they will.
See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • whatever you do, just don’t get so drunk you forget the rules. Oh, and shot girls are a joke. Tell them to peddle their koolaid elsewhere.

  • Daisy

    Lol…. It’s like you WERE a stripper in a past life or something…. Who’s giving you all this information? It’s pretty much dead on in the funniest way possible!