Oct 26

While the contents of this post are very factual, this article is meant to be taken in a lighthearted manner. So if you do not have your sense of humor cap on today then kindly keep it moving. Without further adieu, I present to you the way to a man’s heart from A-Z:

Adventurous: Most men want to travel, want to try new things and want to play “dress up” for sex but WE ARE LAZY! We need a soul mate to push us over the edge and expose that side of our spirit.

Beauty: A man may not compliment you every time you change your hair color or your shoes, the fact of the matter is he does appreciate the extra effort on your part to be beautiful.

Cleanliness: Sugar and spice and everything nice – most men believe women should be the clean/neat half of the whole. A dirty girl can be quite a disappointment.

Dat Ass: We hate to see you leave but we sure do love watching you walk away…

Exes: You never had any. Men do not want to hear about your exes, ever.

Farting: Just get it over with. Sure he may beg you to go in the bathroom and do it, but the peace of mind will do him wonders.

Guy Humor: When a woman can get down with the boys on the comedy tip she’s definitely a keeper.

High Maintenance: Unless you’re 19 and the man is 45 he may not be patient with you playing the expensive vice of a girlfriend.

Intuition: A woman who knows her man enough to give him alone time when he needs it and attention when he seeks it is a goddess.

Jeans: They fit you oh so well… see the letter D up above.

Kegel Exercises: Most men don’t know about these so take full advantage your “Venus guy trap”.

Lingerie: Yes please! If you wears dem we will buy… 

Ménage à trois: Men like an open minded woman.

No: Should be the least used word in your vocabulary.

Obsess: Just don’t do it. He gets that you like him but you have to balance out the like and let him chase you a bit.

Privacy: There’s nothing cool about checking your man’s email or cellphone behind his back.

Quarrel: Just let it out, fighting constantly can mean you really like one another but being passive aggressive is annoying and a man will never be able to read your mind.

Ride-or-Die: Every Gangster needs a Moll that will hold the gun when the cops interrogate and every man has a little bit of gangster in him… Do the math.

Sports: A good woman does not get in between her man and his sports.

Trust: it’s bad enough that you women are so beautiful, the last thing a man wants to do is worry about some duck eating your cookies behind our busy back.

Ultimatums: Don’t do it. When a man hears an ultimatum it comes off as a threat.

Video Games: If you can’t play them then learn. If you don’t want to play them then don’t knock him for playing them.

Wedding: While it’s quite fine to let us know that you would eventually want to be our bride, It is absolutely irritating to hear it echoed continuously.

X3: Let him have his porn, it’s fantasy and it’s not a real woman that you’re competing with.

Yearning: We like to hear that you miss us periodically despite the way we react to it.

Zodiac: Look I know that you firmly believe that your fish sign is incompatible with his mountain goat but do you need to bring it up every week?

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Carly

    Whose child are you Dragon??!!! I love these! A very well put together list. I even learned a thing or two. Go figure!