Jul 17

socially awkward woman

It’s a bit sad that we cater so much to the outgoing social women that we tend to generalize and paint every woman with the same brush. While many women may have girlfriends, take pleasure in using girl power to make things harder in the dating game and comment on relationship blogs, they are not the whole.

Socially awkward women are everywhere, some are beautiful physically, some are beautiful mentally, and others are just normal. We never speak to them because they shrink back into the background as props and watercolor to our animated series of life.

The bold, sometimes loud girl commands attention in a room; she likes us but wants us to chase her while her socially awkward friend would love to talk to us but doesn’t know how to make it happen.

As men we know it’s as simple as some eye contact, a little smile, or just some indicator that it is safe to come over; but even these small gestures are too much for the girl who wants to just disappear. When I see interviews with Twilight actress Kristen Stewart she strikes me as this type fo girl and as you already know she is heavily scrutinized for it.

How does a guy know a socially awkward woman is interested?

There really is no good way for a guy to know when someone so shy and put off by a crowd likes him because she is so different from the standard girl. Even worse we may even embarrass a woman like this out of reacting to something she tries as flirting but comes off as her being an idiot (guilty).

In the movies this type of girl would come over to talk to the handsome lead and end up tripping and spilling drinks on his shirt. Life isn’t exactly a movie so instead of telling her it’s okay, taking her shy hand and engaging in some conversation that leads to a long lasting romance, we would probably see red and cuss her out.

She makes no eye contact or sends any legit signals so we immediately get upset if she’s beautiful. In a man’s mind a beauty being goofy and doing something off to attract us could be seen as her trolling or doing something to get her friends to laugh. Blame the bitchy outgoing beauties of the past for this one.

So how does an awkward woman get the attention of a man without it becoming an embarrassing and harmful experience? You have to take some risk and play it slow ladies.

If you’re a nerdy girl

One of the quickest roads to attraction for a male is to completely blow our mind with your knowledge on a particular topic. Men fall instantly in love with women who can talk sports, video games, tech or any other supposed “guy” topic with them.

Break the ice by mentioning the game that is on his phone or PS-Vita and the rest is history – all we need is an indication that you are available to talk. If that’s too forward then start up conversation via an online resource; I’ve seen solid love connections come from MMORPG, chat rooms, forums and even blogs.

If you’re not a nerdy girl

Non-nerdy girls have it hardest being that us nerds as a sub-culture are known for our social awkwardness; we are supposed to be shy. If you’re hot and socially awkward you have to play with your uncomfortable fears until you can handle them.

Eye-contact make you look away fast… keep trying it and the guy will get the hint. Look, if a woman keeps looking at a guy and he doesn’t get the hint then it’s his loss – trust me. The only thing you have to worry about is conversation – too little or too much can be scary for a man who doesn’t know just how much you are into him so try to ask him about himself with as much small talk as you can if you find that you are just going to sit there silently hoping to not mess up.

Goofy girls with bad conversation are actually cute to some guys and if you survive the initial interaction he will have a handle on your awkwardness and do his best to accommodate you.

There are so many bad women out there polluting the dating pool that I urge you quirky, socially awkward types to at least try. At the end of the day it will always be a difficult feat to date but with the tips I have given you in this article hopefully it won’t be so daunting.

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  • Good post! I think these type of women need to find creative ways that work for them to let men know they’re interested in them, and/or they need to muster the courage to pursue (in some way) the men they’re interested in. If they’re not more transparent about their interests in particular men, they will end up letting them get snatched up by other women who are more outspoken and outgoing.

    • You know Antonio for us men it is equally as frustrating when a socially awkward woman cannot express her interest. On the outside it comes off as anything our mind wants it to be… bitchiness, being stuck-up, not interested, whatever. All of this just from her shyness disallowing her from giving any eye-contact or even a hint of a smile.

      We all have stories of the college beauty who admitted to us way later on how much she was into us. I had that happen to me and I was really, really, really feeling the girl. Stepped up to her one day to try my hand at asking her out and she clammed up and wouldn’t even look at me. I chalked it up to her being strange then a few months later she sees me in Publix with my new girlfriend and it looked like her heart fell out of her chest.

      I really wish I had the answer for girls like that to tell them how to get brave when a guy they like comes near. For now all I can say is they need to at least talk… that girl threw me off completely when she shut down on approach.

      Thanks as always for commenting.

  • jennifer

    I can really appreciate an article like this, mainly because it highlights the problems that I can relate to personally. I am 32, female, always been single and no sexual experiences. I am quiet and reserved and don’t have good social skills, but I am not rude and mean. I don’t even bother trying to get attention from men anymore, what’s the point? They have proven time and again that they are only interested in the social butterflies and loud mouth women in the room. The rest of us who are not like that, fade into the back ground. Bottom line: it’s more acceptable today for a woman to be a trashy tramp and talk about her one night stands, etc. then it is for her to be like myself. I am viewed as the ‘weird’ one and it sucks. When you look up info about socially awkward 96% of it is directed at men, so that goes to show you this issue isn’t taking seriously if you’re a woman.I have been learning to get used to living on my own for the rest of my days but it is still hard. ty

    • Victor Menke

      Wow, I’m so frustrated to hear that.l miss having someone to talk too.I’ve tried to approach someone who seemed quiet , reserved, exactly someone who ideal of. BECAUSE I’M LOOKING FOR THAT ONE who cuddles up to me at any given time and just talking about anything makes me happy.But like you I’ve given up looking it’s sad we never met.All my life I’ve gone out of my way to put women on a little higher level than any friends.

  • jennifer

    There’s always the focus on ‘if you’re hot,’ as a woman then you can do XYZ, where men are concerned. No sh*t, attractive women can get away with murder too. there’s never any mention of women that are just average or a a little below average, guess we are out of luck then and all bets are off.

    • Jennifer you sound really frustrated (for good reason) but as a gambling man I can bet $1,000 that there are a few guys out there who like you but assume that you either have a boyfriend, don’t like them, or that you’d bite their head off if they talk to you.

      One of my main aims with Hall is to not only bring attention to more women like yourself who we should be talking to but also to give those would-be suitors of yours the confidence to just break the ice and come through.

      The downside to your situation is that socially awkward guys and gals never really hook up because both parties won’t make the 1st move. It’s like the stereotypical prom scene where the boys hang out on one wall and the girls hang out on the other wall. Trust me it’s not a looks thing as much as it may seem… there are beauties with the same complaint about unavailable men.

      I wish I had an answer for your situation but the only thing I would say is to try and appear more confident in your own shoes. Walk upright, smile more, and pretend you own the place. Men can’t resist confidence and it will yield you a lot more results than going about it the opposite way.

      Thanks for visiting the Hall, and please let me know if you would even consider anything I’ve said.