Mar 29

The word ‘Man’ comes with a variety of definitions from many different people who (respectfully) have their own means and agendas doesn’t it? Man is defined through the individual’s subjective opinion, influenced (and not lightly) by religion, society, race, prejudice and theories. This of course includes myself so let me start by saying that this is one man’s opinion.

There is no universal codex on what a man is. There is however a code that a person can adapt and abide by for life–which makes him stand out as an extraordinary individual–therefore earning the label of “A Man”. This code is what being “a real man” is about. Not a specific type of man, but a certain type of man: a gangster and a gentleman all rolled into one.

A man is defined by his actions. His honor above all else, and then there is the willingness to stay fearless in a hostile world. Many men still abide by these principles but it isn’t often that you see them acting on it. This is why I often reference fictional characters from books, movies and television shows for you to understand. Many of us won’t mentally grasp a man as complex as the Extraordinary Gentleman until I drop a name like The Walking Dead’s Daryl Dixon.

“…you ain’t no real man…”

With all that being said, men, you cannot let me or any other “expert” define YOU as an individual. I read many blogs and relationship sites and one common topic that rubs me the wrong way is the “what is a real man” entry that all of them seem to have.

The question asserts that there is a universally accepted standard of MANHOOD that we all can abide by. There really isn’t and the women and men that assert this are normally coming from a place of negativity. I have written articles on the fall of man, the death of the alpha male, the 100 man laws and many more. But they address the type of men that we want to be as Hall denizens.

If you are the kind of guy who likes to put a straw in your buddy’s drink to sample it, and you have no qualms with sleeping with his sister, then of course the 100 Man Laws isn’t for you. I would not have the audacity to sit here and say that you aren’t a “man” for doing those type of things… no, I would call you a savage, and a violator of the code, our code, but your manhood is defined by you and it isn’t something I can bring into question.

Don’t take articles seriously that outlines a list of “what is and isn’t a man.” Read them as “what this author thinks is and isn’t a man.” Like I said, there is no universal rule. While we wish that manhood could be something earned as opposed to something inherited, as it stands there is only a code, and a code is adapted by choice. A man is what you choose to be on your own terms.

So the next time you read one of these articles which hits close to home as to how little of a man you truly are. Think hard on it and make a decision. Does the article truly define you, or do YOU as a man define you? We write to make you better, and if you take the advice then it’s a choice that you have made. Win back your own definition of what a “real man” is and never let them tell you what the definition of a man is.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Rocky

    With the demonization of masculinity in the last few decades it has left many of us wondering what to do /how to be. As men; we suffer from a lack of great role models both personally and in media. If we took sitcoms as a guide men would strive to be bumbling fools who need a woman to save us.

    I agree; stop listening to those who tell us how to be a man and what is a man. It’s about time we as men embrace all those great qualities we possess and be proud to be men. Women feel threatened when men associate without them present; to the point where they will force themselves into our clubs and locker rooms while they enjoy their women’s only gym.

    • “It’s about time we as men embrace all those great qualities we possess and be proud to be men.” EXACTLY!