Jul 13


One of the most certain ways to get an unfriendly reaction from someone in a relationship is to pull a “pop up” spontaneously. This rule goes for family, friends and girlfriends–unless you live together–as there is no reason for you to find it reasonable to show up unannounced to their door. It is a general rule that Pop Ups are not okay. Common courtesy serves that you call an individual prior to showing up at his doorstep and to not assume that he will be able to accommodate you.

People have their own lives outside of yours so the assumption that you are welcome anytime is asinine at best. Now I know many people who consider this romantic, or spontaneously sexy but save that for your roommate or live-in boyfriend. People who live by themselves like to have warning before running to the door to see boyfriend/girlfriend there.

The Emergency Pop Up

Now there are times when the pop up rule is waived and a person is forced to accommodate the violator regardless. These times are in terms of emergencies, you have the cops coming after you, psycho girlfriend or your car exploded a mile down the road. At times like this every friend should have an open-door policy of aid. The chances of emergencies leading to a pop up are near nil however if your friends and family live as far away from you as mine do.

Checking The Significant Other

Once in a while a single man/woman will run into that individual who thinks that because the two of you have had sex, it means that they have a free pass to show up unannounced. First off a person with this mindset is very controlling, non-trusting and will do so to make sure that you don’t have anyone over. The first time they violate it is important to check them extremely hard and let them know that they run the risk of losing you for violating. It is akin to going through your phone or email, it is a relationship no-no, one that will start you off on the wrong foot with someone. Do yourself a favor and say no to tolerating pop ups, unless he/she has a key then that is your fault for giving it to him/her.

Setting The Rule with Family

Depending on the type of relationship you have with your family, this can be a hard one. Mom will always consider you to be a baby so she thinks it is quite fine to pop in and clean the place. Dad will rumble through mid-commute if you happen to be anywhere in his path of travel. Then let’s not discuss the brother who wants to nail chicks on your couch, or your drug addicted sister who will knock on the door at 3 in the morning seeking refuge after a rough club night. For this reason I stress living a few inconveniences away from family, if you are dependent on them or if you are family-oriented then this rule won’t apply and you are screwed.

For guys who have families that won’t respect this rule, prep for drama between the future wife and the parents when they start doing this while she is there. The mom versus fiancé tiffs will rear it’s ugly head fast because while you may be good with it, chances are your lady won’t be. This is right up there with using the combined income of yours and your wife’s to pay mom’s rent after she spent it going to the Steve Harvey concert (I’m just saying). So consider your options, be firm to the parents about your privacy or move away where it won’t be a problem.

Practice What You Preach

Just like we don’t like when people sporadically show up at our door, we shouldn’t do it. Most of us have that friend with an open-door policy to his house, he doesn’t care if he has company or not, he accommodates you 24/7. The thing that you should remember with people like this is that they will remember your actions if they are beyond the norm. You calling prior to coming over will alert him that this means something to you while your friends could care less. When he in turn gets ready to come to your house it will cross his mind and he will return the favor.

So remember pop ups are rude, unless you are trying really hard to be that scumbag Kramer from Seinfeld… ya that’s what I thought. So don’t do it.

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