Dec 13


Last week we were introduced to the idea of four love archetypes, one of which is our natural tendency when expressing love. In part two we will explore what the relationship looks like when these love types are equally paired.

Two Mercurial Lovers

The life of two mercurial lovers can be exciting, open, and full of energy based on the partners’ belief in autonomy and independence. They prefer to be individually responsible for things rather than working on them together. They see work and friendships as a source of joy and fulfillment, usually accepting of each other’s opposite-sex friendships with no cause for distrust or jealousy. While others may view this relationship as unstable, they treat each other as valued friends and partners. They welcome their partner’s honest confrontation, even if hurtful and interpret this as an indication of interest and understanding. They will never go to bed angry; but will stay up and fight! They freely discuss their sexual relationship with each other, and are very tolerant and patient when one has a period of lack of interest in sex. However, persistent absence of sexual passion would provide a strong motivation to end the relationship.

Two Romantic Lovers

Two romantic lovers are true soul mates, are likely to be affectionate, attentive, and contented with each other. They express their love spontaneously, and as idealists, they expect that “love will conquer all”. They are extremely sensitive to the nuances of speech and body language, and every touch, glances, a word spoken at just the right or wrong moment has meaning.  While this couple enjoys friendships with like-minded couples, spending time alone with each other is preferable. Because of this way of loving, Romantic Lovers are dubbed as hopeless romantics. They like to stay in touch when they are apart. Daily phone calls are the norm, and they are most likely to have an agreement to never go to bed angry. The pleasure of lovemaking is mutual and reciprocal. If one is not enjoying it, the other may express concern about the other’s mood, health etc. They can read each other’s sexual desire without the need for discussion.

Two Innocent Lovers

They tend to be playful, attentive, and affectionate, and are most contented when everything is in harmony. They expect each to be sensitive to each other’s needs, and can sense when the other needs encouragement. If one fails to pick up on non-verbal cues, it may lead to hurt feelings. The “misread” partner may feel devalued and misunderstood, and may see the partner as uncaring. As such, Innocent Lovers are often regarded as unassertive. Innocent Lovers seek balance between work and home and may become distressed when work demands impinge on home life. In their sexual relationship, Innocent Lovers enjoy passionate and uninhibited sex. However, while they enjoy being able to please each other, are more focused on their own individual sexual fulfillment. Even when angry with each other, they will still come together sexually, using the pleasure derived from sex to make their stress more tolerable.

Two Steadfast Lovers

Steadfast Lovers have a mutual respect for each other’s interests, beliefs and values and this enables them to be relaxed, amiable, helpful, and cooperative with each other. They tend to be effortlessly aware of each other’s thoughts and feelings, using empathy as a medium of awareness. Career and work are central to differentiation and fulfillment, and Steadfast Lovers don’t see it as competing with their love relationship. They like keeping each other informed, and some couples may treat each other as best friends and confidants. Because both value their own and each other’s independent pursuits, such discussions strengthen their connection, which adds depth and fulfillment to their relationship. Society’s view of this relationship is “mature “love, and they may be seen by family members as responsible. Steadfast Lovers value constancy in their relationship, thus the cool and close nature of their intimacy also adds to the character of their love relationship. They are unlikely to take it personally when their partner doesn’t enjoy lovemaking from time to time. However, if one partner persistently lacks pleasure in sexual relationships, the other suffers due to being sensitive to each other’s state of being.

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Now the reality of life is that “opposites attract”, and so in many of our relationships our major conflicts are derived by our differences and not by our similarities. Come back next week for part 3, to see how the differentiated couplings of these soul images express their love.

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