Do you know who controls whether or not a man and a woman has an affair? Easy answer – both parties do, at least when the situation doesn’t involve slavery or sexual abuse. So it confuses me to no end when I hear women blame Wyclef Jean for the disaster in life that is Lauryn Hill. This pattern of finger pointing is something that people have been doing for quite some time now and it is not only unfair to the person blamed but shows a dangerous bit of tribalism displayed by the accuser.
The pattern I outlined in the intro is part of the reasoning for the Wyclef blame and we can mix in Twilight’s Kristen Stewart because she now suffers from the same public scrutiny that Wyclef has for all these years since the Fugees as a group had split. People pick the unpopular person in the extra-marital pairing and they stone them with words and judgment for “ruining the life” of the innocent victim… First Lauryn Hill and now Rupert Sanders.
When in doubt blame the Haitian
In the nineties there were3 women in Hip Hop that black women adopted as their platinum idols in life: Lauryn Hill (then a gifted rapper and singer), Mary J. Blige (whose abused love life prompted her to release the timeless album My Life), and Erykah Badu (a singer who wore a headwrap and Africa-inspired clothing). I recalled the campus where I stayed on having a massive outbreak of black women wrapping their hair (Erykah’s influence), jamming The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and trying to be as “Earthy” as possible.
When The Fugees (a Hip Hop group with 2 good albums) dissolved, the women who emulated the 3 divas were hoping that Lauryn would spread her wings and fly – producing “another Miseducation” which at the time was selling like hot cakes. It was always touted that she WAS the Fugees due to her talent and likability, but she disappeared and Wyclef was the one whose career sky-rocketed.
As the years drifted by rumor and speculation that an affair between band mates Lauryn and Wyclef was the reason for The Fugees splitting and the image of a woman-eating, adulterous, Haitian named Wyclef Jean was brought to life by her fans; salty that Lauryn had become a full time mother to her Marley husband and not making “another Miseducation”.
Is there a male equivalent to slut shaming?
Of course there isn’t, but attacking Wyclef Jean for the affair he had with Lauryn Hill a millennia ago is okay for women to do – am I right? Dare I say that the only reason some women go at Wyclef for “making Lauryn go insane” is because she released an album that impacted them the way it did.
Now the man (Wyclef) has decided to tell his part of the story in his new book Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story and the “daughters of Lauryn” as I like to call them are back in effect to blame him for their precious queen going the way of the tax-evading DoDo. Can we just stop it?
If you are one of the people who have convinced yourself that Wyclef is to blame for Lauryn Hill’s assumed insanity, or if you are a fan who wants the Wyclef side of the story – then be sure to pick up his book “Purpose” when it hits the shelves. It is true that there are 3 parts to every story and this is an opportunity to hear the rest.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.