May 10

Disgruntled woman

There’s an interesting occurrence that comes up whenever you mix one part single, pretty girl with a few non-confident guys that like her and an oblivious confident guy who merely sees her has dating potential. See, the confident guy will have sex with some effort and attention given, while the other lot will sit back and become both resentful and hateful of them both. What makes this even more interesting is that 60% of the guys will ignore her, 10% will try lines and PUA games, and the other 30% will pretend as if they didn’t care either way.

It starts in school when us boys finally figure out that girls are pretty and that having a pretty one as our girlfriend will make us more like our uncles or our Alpha Male heroes that are shown on TV. Little boys being naturally shy will write notes to the girl, send a friend to ask her out, or any number of formal things to avoid rejection in hopes that she will check “yes” on the like box and fulfill their fantasies. At that time it’s innocent, but as we get older and more cognizant of how rejection works, the resentment factor seeps it’s way in to the point where many men assume that pretty women are stuck up divas.

What many adult men will do upon seeing a beauty is to immediately go on the defensive about their feelings. They play the background, avoid eye-contact, never engage in conversation and some will even become aggressively violent, just to force an engagement which doesn’t start with them making the introduction. Sad, I know… if you’re a woman reading this I am quite sure that I am not telling you anything new, now am I? We men do this, and if you’re wondering as to why, I will tell you. Men do this in hopes that you will go out of your way to win their attention since we all believe that you want every single male’s attention within your aura.

Russell and His Advice

Coming up I knew this kid named Russell who tried to impart some knowledge on me about pretty women just because he managed to score one of the better looking girls in my High School and thought himself the expert.

His advice went something like this “See Greg the reason why you don’t have a girl as bad as mine is because you’re too nice to them. When you walk up to girls you say shit like ‘how you ladies doing’, when I walk up to them I say ‘how y’all hoes doing?’ and that’s why I get so much pussy” – I wish I could say that I followed Russell’s advice but I didn’t, he just struck me as a loser who was full of it, living out what would be the best years of his entire life so I let him have that. What Russell does show us however is that men are actually encouraged to treat pretty girls like crap in order to get ahead with them. Imagine that.

The problem is that unlike Russell who found the right pretty girl with the right amount of low self-esteem, most women will ignore the guy pouting in the background, pretending to not give a damn about her. If this is supposed to be game then it’s a terrible one. If you talk to every single girl in a room except the beautiful one, she will automatically know that you are a herb. If you take a beautiful woman out and pretend as if you don’t notice that she’s hot as hell, then she knows that you are trying way too hard to normalize her.  It doesn’t work!

If you want to talk to beautiful women, take a page from the Wolf handbook and treat them just like every other woman that you’ve liked. Engage her, impress her, then bag her and call it a night. Ignoring someone will not force them to win you over to their side unless they are running for governor. Check your game fellas! We are better than these grade-school antics and the game does not favor us with this passive-aggressive tactic.

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  • Adele

    Guys have told me I’m one of the better looking ladies in my grad class and I remember the first semester it was like a mad dash to get in my pants and date me. Almost all the guys had obvious and lame game. The most confident was the alpha and we ended up dating for a while. And everybody was hating, male and female, and trying to break us up. Now I know I’m not crazy lol!!

  • BetterButter

    LOL. Or maybe I just don’t care? If I abandoned my friends every time a pretty girl walked into the room, I doubt I’d have any friends left before long. Sorry for being popular in social situations.

  • Juice

    Some parts of this article is full of crap. What does this even mean? ” If you take a beautiful woman out and pretend as if you don’t notice that she’s hot as hell, then she knows that you are trying way too hard to normalize her. It doesn’t work!”
    Seriously dude?

    So because someone knows how to put on her make up all of a sudden people must now start acting like brainless, gawking zombies with little to no self esteem? This sounds like it was written by a guy with zero confidence and comfortability in himself as a man. Putting myself in the mind of a “pretty girl”, I would feel pretty fawking bored and frankly irritated if every person of the opposite sex I spoke to acted like a drooling idiot just because I said hi to them.

    I would feel more comfortable with someone who has enough self control and self-respect to not act like I’m better than them, because I really wouldn’t be. I would prefer such people as they would give me perspective, and would bluntly tell me things as they are, not trying to french my arse with lies and sweet words. If I was going to have a relationship with someone, it would be with someone like that who’s self awareness demands mutual respect and who would accept nothing less.

    Men and women aren’t neccessarily wired that differently if you actually employ the tool of empathy. It’s just different circumstance.

    • yogagirl

      I am going through this situation with someone at work and I must say it is driving me mad a little because I am attracted to him. But your response to this article pretty much nailed the response I am going to give his passive aggressive b.s. from now on. Thanks!

      • afaf

        Don’t assume things just because you read an article. How self-centered & insecure are you? Maybe he did nothing to you & you’re interpreting everything wrong?

      • mi

        You ASSUME that I am self centered and insecure before even knowing the whole story. Anyway, I’ve already moved on from this many months ago. Thanks for your “enlightening” words.

    • Mayz

      *applause*

    • Mallory

      Dear God you over generalized the entire thing by trying TOO hard to find a reason to argue. The author is simply saying that taking a beautiful woman out and not telling her she “looks lovely tonight,” is just another childish technique that many men will try to employ to deflect their level of interests. It’s a petty game and whether you think the woman is beautiful or not isn’t really the point. The point is that beautiful or not, a woman would be appreciative If a man paid her a kind it compliment. That does not go to say that a woman is desperate for reassurance of her value, a woman can be sure of her value and self worth but still find a kind compliment as a beautiful gesture—we aren’t neanderthals, we can be self assured and still know how tot receive compliments without expecting them.

      The point. Don’t choose to downplay someone’s features, pluses, and character traits just to deflect the magnitude of your feelings.

      Context clues can be your friend.

  • Allison

    I personally would lose interest when a guy ignores me. Stop those silly games please.

  • Pingback: Why Do Guys Ignore Pretty Girls? | W.A.G.M.'s World

  • John

    We ignore you because men know that women don’t need us. If a woman doesn’t approach me they are not interested.

    • Ashley

      Not true. Most women don’t approach men and like men who approach them. If you’re too scared to approach a woman, you might miss out on one who is actually interested…

      • Mallory

        It’s so sad how society has made wimps out of men. It’s almost like a catch 22 this whole modern dating scene. Men want to be treated like men yet they are too afraid to be the pursuer–one of the natural, biological roles as a man. They also want women to act like a woman, yet in the same breath expect us to be the pursuer–when we do just that, then we are persecuted for being too much of an independent woman doing a “man’s job.”

        All I will say is that men set he tone for The type of woman that will become the standard. Men wanted women to be looser and easier to get into bed and that’s what they have now. 100 years ago men wanted women to be pure and chaste and that’s what women were.

        **for all you feminist out there, don’t start, this is an observation but it does not mean you yourself must be ruled by it.***

  • John

    There is a saying, ” No money no honey”, is just as ugly as a man wanting only sex from a woman and not their heart.

  • Debbie Nugus

    I have always given anyone, regardless of gender a wide berth if they seem to play the ‘silence power game’ or passive aggressive game. Women can do this too though and its not always about sexual power.

    • Mallory

      What?

  • tygrr94

    If a man came up to me and/or my friends and said “how y’all hoes doing”, I’d look him in the face and say “Who are you calling a hoe?”, then walk away and never, EVER interact with him again. That is rude, disrespectful, and the women who allow it, deserve it.

  • dinna

    lol, I guess your friend was disrespectful if he really thought girls were hoes. but he said it in a way , I would think that is really funny and start laughing b/c who comes up to a girl and says “how yall hoes doing”? on the othe hand if you say how are you ladies doing? that’s trying too hard. I dont say that you put women on a pedestal but act like you are their friend and be cool with it. I am a girl and I do like the way your friend approached those girls. I would preceive him has funny and that intantly makes someone attracted. Now wether or not he is disrespectufl I would n’t know b/c I dont know him in just one meeting.

    • Mallory

      Any woman that finds something appealing by being called a hoe–whether said in good nature or not–has some serious work to do on her self esteem.

  • Sophia Anne Wise

    Let’s get real. If a woman IS NOT PHYSICALLY attracted to you, meaning she doesn’t think you’re fine as heck, SHE AIN’T sleeping with you.
    Most good looking women like GOOD LOOKING MEN!!!

    You can lie to yourself all you want, but we want more than CONFIDENCE. You can be as confident as all get out, but if you’re not what that individual woman considers attractive to HER, you’ll be sleeping alone.

    Women are not like men. We won’t get with just any guy because we’re lonely and desperate. He still has to be our type in EVERY WAY. Looks are just as important as personality and we prefer BOTH, not just one or the other.
    Not trying to be mean, just honest.

    • Ashley

      So true! There are several men who I can talk and laugh with and get along with well, while at the same time, not be physically attracted to them at all. No chemistry=No lovin’!!! :)

    • noiseboy25

      Rubbish! There is someone out there for everyone, looks are not so important, its what in side of you that counts! :/

      • Mallory

        You missed the OP ‘s point. They’re right actually, I won’t speak for all women but from my personal standpoint and that of other women I know, we decide who we want to be with based upon our physical attraction to them and our chemistry level with a man.

        I’m in college and there are two guys that I found myself attracted to. One’s attractive level was on a GQ model scale, while the other looked more like Kid from Kid N Play. The one who resembled Kid to me had dimples and the most charming personality. He was funny, unassuming yet if he CHOSE for you to see it, he was very dominant and manly. Needless to say I fell head over heels for this guy, he put on a few lbs and he was still the sexiest man alive to me. If he lost all his hair one day, I’d still be wildly attracted to him. Meanwhile the guy who looked like he stepped out of a GQ magazine–as fit as a soccer star and as gorgeous as a movie star–fell flat to me. He was a sweet, kind natured guy, incredibly respectful but he was very shy and quiet. I can understand quietness and being shy but some personality has to shine through in order to make you a keeper for me. Had I chose to be with this guy, I realized I would of done so soley based on his looks and well that wouldn’t have gotten us very far.

        This other guy, well let’s just say because of him NO ONE will ever be able to down play Kid’s level of attractiveness to me. Hahaha

  • Ashley

    Seriously, the articles on this site are so well written. I’m obsessed! And I’ve dealt with men like this. I usually ignore them and if it’s a situation where I have to see them again (school, work, etc.), they usually come around on their own.

  • alex

    I accadintaly ignored a girl today but she noticed me and we have our cool conversations … I barly noticed her till she walked off the court.should I text her and tell her :hey how was workout, I’m sorry I didn’t say hi I didn’t regonise you til you left? Or any advise on wat I should say?

    • http://halloftheblackdragon.com/ Greg Dragon

      I wouldn’t apologize or mention the accidental ignoring tbh. Just hit her up and talk to her if you’re thinking about her. She can put 2 and 2 together.

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