Nov 14

bad date

Welcome in my knee-jerk, ready to war, expecting to hear the same old bull readers. The title you just read is a variation of an article I just read:  How My Life Regained Harmony After I stopped Dating American Women where the author, Maverick explains why his experience with the dating games, demands, and power jousting by American women led him to try his hand overseas and it opened him up to a bevy of beautiful, easy-going women.

Maverick speaks on the same dating game that we discuss here on The Hall, but instead of looking for strategy in how to talk to unnecessarily challenging women, he switched the game and went overseas – where according to his account the need for game is pretty much nonexistent. Sounds absolutely wonderful right?

Here are a few of the highlights:

My last encounter with an American woman was such a soul-crushing and thought-provoking event that I was forced to go back to Europe on a yet another soul-searching mission.

It made me realize how much less I’m able to connect and “get” American girls; where as before I could at least tolerate them.

* * * *

On one of my most memorable nights in one of Rio de Janeiro’s best nightclubs, I remember approaching a beautiful woman without any games, lines, or gimmicks.  I simply smiled and said that I couldn’t believe a beautiful woman like herself was sitting all alone (she was truly stunning).  She smiled, and feeling flattered responded whether I start a conversation with every woman like that.  Can you imagine a beautiful American woman responding the same way?  She sure wasn’t bitchy and defensive like a typical American woman in similar situation.

Women love compliments they deem as sincere and genuine.  Know the typical Italian behavior towards women?  How they usually go overboard complimenting every woman by calling them “bella donna, beautiful, etc”?  Well, that stuff works very well because non-American women usually respond very warmly to compliments.  Of course, you must fine a fine line between being too stoic and too complimenting, and recalibrate that line for every woman you meet.

Overtime my game has naturally adjusted more to the complimenting and sweet-talking side rather than my dick and combative side.  It has worked pretty well. [SOURCE]

Maverick’s story is a bit extreme but it isn’t to say that it isn’t true for his experience.  A lot of people dating come to hard-line decisions like this and it has been happening for hundreds of years. Stop me if you don’t have a friend who has said the following:

I’m done dating (insert race or nationality) women because all they want is (insert negative).

italian birdOf course you have and it has nothing to do with the person saying it — what it does speak to however is that person’s dating experience. You can think positively and hypothesize on how he should try dating different types of women from that same race or nationality but many times the few bad experiences are enough to kill the notion forever. It’s the “fool me once” cliche within many of us to steer away from obvious patterns of annoyance.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with writing off a whole race, culture or country of women – you just owe it to them to be 100% transparent and upfront about it. Don’t preach to men who still date these women that they are making a mistake; don’t write on your online dating profile that you date every kind of woman; don’t tell men who are in relationships with these women that they are fools. You don’t have to be a dick just because you don’t date a certain kind of woman.

So what do you think of Maverick’s article and the notion of giving up on American women due to their lust for material gain and having a man that can outwit them in conversation? Have you ever been tempted to write an entire group off due to your experiences? 

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Lonnie F

    I’ve been reading Maverick’s blog for months and I agree with much of what he says although he seems overly cynical at times. I’m not exactly done with American women, but they just don’t appeal to me on a few different levels. I’m trying to get my ish together now so I can plan my future as an expat. The last thing I read from him he questioned what the point of it all was (being an expat for so long). Deep in my soul somewhere I feel like things weren’t meant to be this way so I’m not gonna fight for something I don’t want to be a part of. I’m not gonna pull anybody’s coat either. Even if I come to that same point of what’s the point at least I got the fuck outta here for a while and saw for myself that I’m not crazy.

    • Having traveled quite a bit and lived in a different country I can promise you that life will make a lot more sense when you experience it. Not that it makes you appreciate yourself that much more but it makes you realize that the world is small and people can be a pleasure to be around. Sometimes we lose that perspective here where everyone is at a boiling point and about to kill each other. So 100% do it Lonnie, you won’t regret it – only on a financial end if you don’t find work there.

      • Lonnie F

        See you understand. That’s partly what I’m talking about. We have communities, but we aren’t really communal people anymore and that’s just the beginning. Our gender roles are wrecked, we spend too much time working for other people, and our consumerism is outta hand. My grief stems from those things, but there are plenty more perspectives out there.

        Do you have any posts about your time spent traveling?

      • I agree with everything you’ve stated and it can seem like the walls are closing in when it appears that everybody is subscribing to the same stat quo. I haven’t written much on my travels but you’ve inspired me to. We have a new section called Living The Good Life and that’s what it’s meant for. I will be writing more on that especially from a AA male standpoint.

        The gender role issue is massive, I mean it’s the one hardcore negative about this time period we live in. Entrepreneurship is riddled with stigmas, and lies–to people working it seems like the dumbest path to take due to a few people crying broke and helpless–so we develop a hive mind which is not positive.

        Traveling is therapy for things like this because you see the real results of hard work from someone chopping up coconuts in a 3rd world country, to women smiling genuinely on a remote beach location. But like good therapy it’s expensive so many people don’t get the luxury.

        If you can hop on a plane or a cruise Lonnie and check back for some articles on the very subject. Thanks for the inspiration.

      • Carmen

        Running away from the issues never solves the true problem. Its sad that American women are so generalized because not all American women fit the category of having attitudes, etc. To write an entire group off due to some bad instances can sound judgmental. Other women from other countries also have their problems. You will not find perfection in America and you won’t find perfection outside of America. It is these kinds of articles and similar ones that place women that are not American as if they are better and causes further division within the culture. People will never learn to stick together. In the end, its all about exploring the unknown. Sometimes, the unknown, the exotic can leave unwanted gifts that are regrettable. Not all non-American women are what you think. They are no better than any other woman. All women have issues and come with their own price.

  • Timothy

    Now 51 soon to be 52, I am good shape, I’d be lying if I said I’m in shape. I have dated many gals before I got married in 1989 at 24. Now divorced for three years…OMG! It so unbelievably bad out there it is like getting kicked in the testicles. Women are so unfriendly and cold it is hard to even make eye contact: almost like I’m a leper or a rapist. Wishing I could move back to Germany. Good luck to guys out there, it is mine field.

  • Joe

    A lot of women have an attitude that we are supposed to approach them, while they sit back and look pretty.

    No more for me. In fact, I don’t even miss dating. I have a couple of friends to do things with, god books to read, and my career to focus on.