Jul 25

I may be at risk at sounding like a disgusting White Knight on this article but trust me I’m no White Knight. Quite the opposite actually, I’m like that rebellious, badass, Black Knight who blocked Arthur’s passage in order to see if anybody was worthy of a good fight. See when I see hive mind on something, my natural thought process is to ask questions and fight back against it. If we are going to have a nice utopia, then wouldn’t it be nice if everyone played by the rules?

Recently I did a vote on one of my favorite game series Mass Effect to see which model would represent the protagonist in their alternate cover. Upon observing the results I noticed that the Blonde model had over 13,000 votes whereas all the others: Brunette, Asian, Middle Eastern and Black were at about 1,500 or so (I voted for the chocolate one for those of you keeping score to Tom me out).

Are blondes the most sexualized of women?

While I wasn’t surprised at the blonde getting massive love (I explain later), I was taken aback by the comments under her picture… people were livid! After defending the chocolate model from a few ambiguously racist nerds, I realized that the popular vote was just as hated if not more. The love and respect that someone has for a dark haired woman seems to be a whole world of difference from the love I see men have for those with yellow tresses. I know this as fact, I’m a man, I know how men speak.

It’s no coincidence that models, porn stars and do-gooder wives in movies are defaulted blonde. Men have made the hair a golden prize for sexual objectification since time immortal and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all.

Natural Blonde Fetish – An American Staple

I would say 90% of the Asian men I know fetishize blondes as some sort of sweet, delicious, forbidden fruit. Black women used to use them as an attack on black men (some still do) – statements like “he will use a black woman to get successful then dump her for some blonde Becky!” Tiki Barber holler back you walking stereotype. And the white men I know who aren’t chasing Asian women hardcore are normally fetishizing on January Jones clones the country over. All of this to say that Blonde fetish is as American as racism, apple pie and corn. Seems like a lot of pressure for the blondes that aren’t blessed to be hot I would think.

If you think it’s just a hair color preference just talk to any man that has been a part of a “good ol boy” network. Having been a decision maker in a company or two where I have been the token black hobnobbing with Daddy Warbucks and his peers, I can tell you that while on the surface things may seem different in the way women are treated in the workplace; when you get these boys by themselves they are very much the way they were 40 years ago.

Tight Ass + Blonde Hair = Insta-Hire for an Admin

“Did you see the new girl who interviewed today Greg? Natural blonde, I can tell by the eyebrows, mhmm, I’m gonna hire her (winks)”, it happens all the time, to hell with a resume.

This poor fool thinks she killed the interview when the decision was already made before she was hired. “We have too many men in this office, let’s get a hot blonde to work the front” – actual quote, I don’t lie.

In this society we make it okay to stereotype and make fun of the “haves”, don’t we? When I wrote about the curse of being beautiful I am sure that more than a few women rolled their eyes at it and retorted with “try being ugly”. There’s merit in that statement yes, but does that mean the beauties aren’t allowed to talk? No? That’s pretty harsh.

For all the love and acceptance that being a blonde American yields, you will see no shortage of hate for them going unchecked. “They’re probably going to hire some dumb, slutty Becky to play admin in here”, or some obscure Hitler reference. Part of the reason this goes without problems is due to the fact that a lot of women do covet the Becky role and are quite comfortable in society’s assumption that they’re dumb and beautiful. Think about the first Transformers movie and the smart blonde girl that was trying to solve the mystery of their origins. I can remember the crowd going “what the fug” because well, wasn’t she supposed to be like the blonde in the third movie – A dumb broad with a face? Good thing niggabot Bay wisened up and recast the role huh.

Why is this sh-t cool?

I would imagine this to be a frustratingly ridiculous existence for a woman born both blonde and (gasp) intelligent. I mean nobody is going to care about what you’re saying. How can you be taken seriously when they’re drooling all over your hair and wondering if the carpet matches the drapes. Talk to me Hall fam, I would love to hear some nightmare stories. I don’t fetishize blondes so it’s an interesting case study for me, how about those of you who do. What do you have to say for yourself?

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  • I am just one of them brothas who just aren’t really into blonds that much. If I was diggin a white chick it was always the olive complexion ones

    • I hear you D, but do you think that’s due to your inner rebellion from what’s been forced down your throat since birth? I wonder about that some time, I know that if everybody drinks the cherry kool-aid I adapt to lemon lime, which I blame my leaning towards the Monica Bellucci’s over the ScarJo’s on. Sounds like a survey I need to take up lol, especially with black men since we are hardcore stereotyped as blonde fetishists. Makes you think.

      • Very good point right there! Maybe I am somewhere subconsciously but I just never bought into the Hitler ideal of beauty. It maybe also that most blonds and hood rats really don’t gravitate to me…lol