Dec 02

Although much has been said about how independent young women are today (they earn more than men in big cities, boldly ask out attractive men, and confidently remain single when no suitable mate can be found), clearly there are still some women who can be defined as clingy when they’re in  a new relationship.

A lot of men do not enjoy dating clingy women because they feel it hinders their ability to have a life outside of the relationship, and internally it reveals just how insecure the woman they are dating is about herself.  No one wants to date a person who runs around fearing they are going to be dumped or cheated on every minute.

To be fair, it’s normal to feel a little insecure when you first start dating someone because the relationship’s status is so up in the air, but there is something called quiet insecurity.  When you start letting it show on the surface, and acting it out on your partner then that may lead the relationship to fail.

Keeping tabs on someone every hour of the day, and wanting a daily report of where they have been and what they have done are big turn offs.  No one wants to feel they are being watched or lorded over, and forced to make a report on their daily activities.  It also reveals to the person that you do not have any sort of life outside of the relationship, and that for the foreseeable future they will be your source of entertainment.  This will give most men serious pause as to whether they are going to continue the relationship or not.

What are reasonable expectations when it comes to relying on a new love interest?  Some general guidelines: In the first month or two, don’t plan to see a guy more than twice a week.  Let things progress naturally, if you are dating the right guy and are doing your part in the relationship you will gradually start seeing more of him.  Also, some men prefer the thrill of the chase, and If you are a constant presence in their world, that thrill will wear off prematurely.

If you are a person who knows you require a lot of attention, and you do not have a lot of friends then talk to the person you are dating.  Sit down and discuss your needs and how often you hope to see each other, and see if your expectations are in line with each other.  If you want more time from him than he can offer then, you will need to assess if you are able to deal with that and be comfortable in the relationship.  Communicating never hurt anyone, so don’t be afraid to use it.

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