Jun 04

frustrated gamers fighting

I’ve never had a good relationship with any of my friends’ girls. Most guys have the same problem, which is why the “buddy vs girlfriend” dynamic is used in so many movies. It’s something all men can relate to!

Sometimes, it doesn’t make any sense. The sweetest of girls will make your blood boil after dating your friend for a few months. And no matter how awesome you are, the feeling is always mutual. 

But by understanding why we hate our friends’ girlfriends, you can avoid unnecessary drama and keep things cool and friendly between everyone.

What Have You Done To My Friend?

We each have a few social roles we play. With our parents, we act like children; with co-workers, we act like professionals; with our buddies, we act like bros.

When your homie starts going steady with a girl, he takes on a new role: the boyfriend. Suddenly, the awesome dude you know is gone, replaced by (what you think is) a sissified woman-pleaser. He obsesses over everything She does; freaks out when She’s upset; talks about Her constantly. 

Seeing a man in this emasculated state pisses us off – and we blame the girlfriend for the change. We wonder what happened to our guy, who used to be so uncaring and tough with other women. We discuss “what this skank is doing to him” between ourselves. 

Just remember that it all works both ways. To a girl, watching the man she loves burp, curse and play video games all day sucks. And guess who brings that side of him out? That’s right: us, his friends! 

I Haven’t Seen You In Months, Dude

Girlfriends have a tendency to “steal” our friends. A guy in a new relationship can ignore his crew for weeks and months – a gross violation of the Bro Code

We hate this because single guys are used to doing stuff together. We use our “man-time” to bond over the smallest of things, i.e. Pizza Thursdays and Paintball Sundays.

Girls don’t understand these activities; to them, what we do ranges from “loser crap” to “big waste of time.” So they coax, coerce and sweet-talk their men into spending more time with them and less time with us

Which is an unforgivable transgression.

When a friend is busy getting laid, we get it. But seeing a man go for cocktails with Her friends when we could be watching all 6 Star Wars movies back-to-back is just wrong

It’s Called Betrayal

During the first few months of a relationship, both sexes are on their best behavior. We all want to make a good impression. For girls, getting the approval of her man’s friends is a part of that. 

She’ll go out for beers with the crew; try to hook us up with her single friends; play a game of guitar hero here and there.

All that changes when the honeymoon period’s over. When a woman knows she’s “secured” her boyfriend, she has fewer reasons to be nice to his friends.

This is normal girl behavior, but we’re man – and so we feel betrayed. The girl who we thought was kind of OK becomes “Becky, who started acting like a cold bitch lately.” 

In The End

Some girls really are bitches – evil jezebels straight outta hell you can’t help but hate. 

But for the most part, it’s natural for men to hate their friends’ girlfriends. They compete for one man’s time; want to see him play different social roles; tend to have few common interests.

Just remember that your buddy’s chick cares about him just as much – or even more – than you do. Do your best to understand her and keep things friendly – if only for his sake. One of these girls he’s seeing might be there for life. 

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Lonnie F

    My crew had an agreement that we would keep any and all girlfriends away from the circle and for a long time it worked well. No crossover drama. Then one day my main man the one I thought would never break, never flip, never turn, or nothin started lying about unnecessary shit and then he disappeared. When he resurfaced for a minute we found out he was breaking damn near all the rules. Moved in with a hoodrat with another man’s baby and took care of her, bought her a hoopty, introduced her to his family and shit. I looked at him and felt like I fucked up. I’m like where was I at when this was going down. I could’ve prevented it. But really I couldn’t. We didn’t know because he said he was hangin out with another “friend.” All that time we thought it was a dude.

    Then he resurfaced again and had a whole gang of kids with a new chick. Damn that’s what happens when months turn to years. He was lyin long before we even parted ways to have that many kids. I’m like damn this is me. He could’ve told me anything. That broad flipped him.

    Shit, another homie talked all this shit about how wack and ugly this broad was how tight his game is how far outta his league she is and then he disappeared for a minute. Who do you think pops back up with him!? She was thirsty as hell inviting herself out with us and then acted like she belonged all along.

    2 good friends ruined.

    • Hey, Lonnie

      It’s a complicated situation. On one hand, you want something better for your friend. On the other, what can you do if he’s in love and happy?

      Happens to me all the time and lately I’ve been letting live and let live. If a guy really wants to be stuck with a woman he can do better than, let him.

  • Carmelita Jones

    There is much to be said for dating a girl with similar interests. My last boyfriend’s buddies love me so much that I still hang out with them even though we are no longer dating; they are my bros! There’s no weird drama, they didn’t pick me over him or do any other bitch-assed thing like try to get with me. We just drink beers, play video games and talk about whatever.

    • You sound really cool :). That’s the way I think relationships should go and end – with everyone being friends in the end. I like that you get that.

  • Nish

    I respect my man and his friends, but I have a life too. If his friends don’t like me, it’s their problem. I treat him very nice and I know they’re jealous because he’s truly happy and they’re not.