Oct 09

overly happy woman

Most women I know have a lively, fun, and extroverted girlfriend who is chronically single. To the women in their circle this girl is a hell of a catch, she has all her teeth, has a wicked sense of humor, and loves men, but it doesn’t seem as if they’re interested.

These women are subjected to a ton of “hook-ups” and blind dates as her married and involved friends try their best to link her up to every “great” single guy that they come across in life. There is no one reason why this friend is chronically single, but in my experience it could be due to the way she comes across to outsiders.

Note: Let me preface this by saying that people should be honest with themselves and be who they want to be in life. I am only writing this to explain why it is that a boisterous, aggressive type of woman may find it a bit hard in the dating world. It’s all about who you target to throw your attraction to, and like many other tropes in the dating game chances are your girlfriend may be barking up the wrong tree.

Most men hate drama, especially men in their 30’s; when we see a person who is loud and full of drama we run the other way. The last thing a guy wants is a woman who could potentially turn into loud obnoxious, psycho girlfriend—or wife!

When a woman has a strong personality it can come off as scary to us men. Women may find their crazy, chatty girlfriend to be smart and funny but to the guy at the table next to you she may come off as just simply loud. You know the conversation:

Lady friend: So what did you think about Lisa?

Guy friend: She’s alright…

Lady friend: So do you like her, do you think she’s cute, what?

Guy friend: I don’t know, she wouldn’t shut up.

I consider a girlfriend of mine to be fun and crazy, but that’s because she loves dancing, karaoke, playing games and having intelligent arguments; I know this because I know her personally. Ask anybody outside of our bubble and they will tell you that she is a quiet, reserved and nerdy type of girl. This is because she knows when to turn it on and when to keep it to herself. See she comes off as approachable from the jump but a woman who is perceived as a loudmouth can and will turn off guys.

As society moves ever so closely to true gender-neutrality, the idea of the quiet, reserved lady may diminish but as of today it is still very much a trait that is sought by men.

For the loud, fun, friend to be a bit more successful she may have to bottle up all of that personality until she and the guy she’s dating are on warm, joking, terms. The reason why she’s loved so much by the other girls is because you’ve gotten to know her on a personal level. We men need time to warm up with your personality, so move in quietly and you will find that more of us will stick around.

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