Mar 04

dirty old man

When a man is in his late teens and a bit beyond the world seems like a vast landscape of opportunity – especially when it comes to sex. A young man’s dream is to bag so many different flavors of women that by the time he is 40/50 years old he can say that he’s done it all with no regrets along the way. Most young men don’t even think this deep but the hormones are ablaze and the scent of a woman is intoxicating.

As we mature and the reality of the world sets in most men evolve. We become a bit more cynical, tired of games, rejection over what we view as trifles and the chase begins to feel childish. Some men grow to be blunter while the richer, more successful are opened to a new world where women have begun to actually chase them…

Older men don’t waste their time anymore

Unlike the younger man an older gentleman will see the forest instead of the trees on a first date. A woman who seems like a lot of work, fickle, or a train wreck will not be chased down like before, she instead will be forgotten. It is in this that a young man can learn from an older man in the art of gaming women… it’s almost never worth it to try that hard.

Successful older gentlemen have also had a lifetime of business education that has spilled over into their love life. Now the romanticized notion of “gaming women” has been replaced with words like assets, liabilities and ROI (Return on Investment). Who wants to put the heavy investment of time and money into a person who will only yield excuses and lies to blow you off?

Hormones also come into play for men of a certain age and the need to “hit them all” becomes greatly diminished. Many older men are ready to settle down, and the idea of an expensive game of tag for sex with a woman is just nowhere near appealing.

A Change in Priorities

Older men tend to feel women out more for conversation than how sexy they look in the dress they wore. Looks are very important but so is someone who can hold an intelligent conversation or blend in well with the wives and girlfriends of peers.

If sex was the only reason these men were dating then with success comes money and as we all know sex is as easy to purchase as a loaf of bread. Older men who actively date are seeking companionship.

An older, successful man will also mislead a hot young woman due to the very facts listed in the former paragraphs. He may wine her, dine her, and talk to her about the news, but her inability to keep up, or her obvious naivete will lead to him to not call her back for a second date.

This is why we talk about the game flipping upon itself and caution younger men to slow down. If you realize how much age, wealth, and wisdom factor into the art of seduction, you would understand why chasing women is rarely a worthwhile game to play.

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    • Pimps are extreme but that one bit of advice I can get behind. Chasing can seem so desperate to me and a lot of guys watch older movies where men did this as part of game and try to apply it to today. The best lessons can be learned from older gods and one of the main things they tell you is that – don’t chase, take your time and bait.

  • mcthick

    So the question becomes…is the ‘jerk’ we all knew in high school that had the ladies all over him just way ahead of the curve? Does he already have the mindset of a monied 40 year old?

    • 2 different animals McThick, but women gravitate to them both, The funny thing about the “jerk” is that for the longest time he has been the ideal that many beta men look up to in terms of scoring with hot women. This is of course a losing ideology being that acting like a jerk and actually being a jerk yields very different results.

      What’s even funnier is that many of these guys wanting the women who jerky boys score with are ignoring some pretty cute girls trying to get with them. That’s life though, but with age comes wisdom and the wise do not chase tail.

  • Its interesting you should be writing about this at the moment; over here in the UK we’ve had a classic sex scandal involving a high ranking politician (The Chief exec of the 3rd ranking party, the Liberal Democrats) who was going after, and making lude sexual advances, towards the younger woman in the party. Now for all intense and purpose he seems to go against what you’ve written here, however I think you’re quite correct. He wanted a little bit of fun on the side with none of the difficulties of the relationship and baggage that comes with it.
    But this raises an interesting question. Are older women more difficult to handle because, by their age, they have more baggage?

    Furthermore, the telegraph has an interesting piece on sexism in the workplace. I’d be delighted to hear your views on it:

  • Hey Matthew, I’m going to do 2 replies since I’m long-winded lol. To the 1st one that Chief Exec sounds like a loser (we call them “dirty old men” here), he breaks the #1 rule in business which is never shit where you eat. With that amount of money and power it takes a lazy individual with no self control to scam on the women around him versus the readily available ones that you can conceal from the eyes of your wife, the press, and the 24/7 media cycle.

    Older women for dating and relationships have a solid chance of having baggage but they also come with less games, and they will tell you exactly what they want – for a man dealing with a woman, that is golden and as you know many younger girls expect you to have a 6th sense to read their mind instead of telling you that they want you to park outside the office, wind up the mirror tinted windows and f— their brains out. Older women will tell you that… so I guess it’s up to a man whether a little baggage and honesty is better than tight skin and naivete… I personally love older women.

    Hell I had a cougar hunter badge as a younger man so you won’t see me knocking the hustle on older ladies.

  • The Telegraph article you linked struck a nerve with me Matthew as do many articles like that where a man takes other men to task about sexism then chooses to point fingers in a way that comes off as “look girls, I am not like those nasty boys over there with their rape culture, I am a good guy!” It’s like, I get the need for that article but I really wish men would write from the perspective of being a man and scold the bad guys in that way.

    I have been in business for over 20 years and one thing I learned early on is that women are not women in an office, they are co-workers. I DO NOT compliment women in an office, I do not ogle them (to where it’s noticeable) and I do not give them gifts, discuss televisions hsows, or gab it up with them because I work there. I have seen legit sexual harassment and I have seen women get men fired all because they didn’t like the guy and could use sexual harassment as a weapon.

    I wish more men would wisen up to the fact that Mad Men is a television show from the 60’s and the art of banging your secretary will get your ass canned, locked up, tarred and feathered nowadays. It’s sad that we even have to tal about it… there are soo many cases of this that men should do better about being careful with it. Just don’t go there period!

    As things progress and more women become bosses I wonder how the paradigm will shift for this sort of thing.

    • Frank

      True Greg,
      I am a human resources manager and I have had to put people on the bricks just for being stupid. I hate this part of the job but when a guy is doing the obvious and they have been counseled…law of the jungle, baby.
      Regarding time on chicks, at age 48, I can tell by about 10 minutes or less into a date. To be polite, I typically cruise it out to make sure I at least get some dinner in me that I do not have to cook. Then I am honest and let them know that I do not wish to waste either of our time. If they give some chase, I reconsider, but typically I move on to the next one. No sense in wasting time.

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  • C Jasz

    There is no free meal – such as women wanting sex these days.
    They want cars, gold, dogs etc – but hey hate men.
    Maybe those living in France or Brasil are different.
    But here in Canada is pure hell for gentleman.

    I have not had sex for ages, for women I met hate men, sex, or both.

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