Jul 18

Editor’s Note: I’m going to keep score on the amount of visitors who read this title and comment or send me a message without actually taking the time to read the article.

My fellow men, I have found the problem with “Nice Guy” and I have gone into my lab to mix up a cure for his lonely ailment. See, the problem with nice men is that they care too much what a woman may think. EUREKA! They care way too much, they don’t care about a woman’s well-being so much as they care too much what a woman thinks about them. Hold that thought, see women contradict themselves constantly in the eyes of men. Try to figure out what a woman wants, then check all your positives off on her list and you may find that there is absolutely no way you could be her Mr. Perfect. In the rare chance that you are Mr. Perfect she will switch it on you after you’ve slept together 100 times and now she wants you to be like your asshole buddy Dominic. You then change and adjust to keep her happy but find that nothing you do is making her revert back to form. If it gets to this point then you my dear sir are playing yourself.

A woman will say she wants a MAN and he cannot be weak, has to be chivalrous and nice to her parents, has to have ambition but make time for her, blah, blah, blah. The men that they truly want could give a rat’s ass about all of that. Mad Men analogy in 3..2..1.. Do you think Donald Draper sits around wondering why Beth Draper is so sad and fake around him? No, but she sticks around and that’s all he needs or cares about (harsh I know but that’s Draper). That’s because Draper is a bull, he’s the cock of the walk, he’s the man, he’s comfortable with being the man and the only person he’s out to impress is #1. Women smell that arrogance on a man like him and their brain sets out to conquer him. When you make yourself simple you will bore a woman quicker than a virgin in a whorehouse. The willingness to play ball is what makes the nice guy… nice! In Mad Men Donald Draper is an ass but the women in his life are more than willing to deal with him, this is so parallel to how it is in life that it will blow your mind. Stop being so damn impressive to women and disappoint the hell out of them once in awhile.

What are you so afraid of?

Consider your positives men; you’re a good guy, you’re respectful, you would never hit her, you have all your teeth, you work and you have a little money in the bank. If she dumps you for being a man then she’s back out there in the wild, she’s wolf bait, single again, explaining to her girlfriends how much of a jerk you are. Women don’t want this, take my word for it – she’ll act tough but once that reality hits her she will compromise. If not then go get another, hell man it’s 2011, it’s a great time to be a man, there’s more of them out there than us, what are you being so scary for? Cast your net pimp! If you want pretty Polly then pick it from the trees my dear brother (Clockwork Orange phrasing for the win!)

Look all jokes aside the confusion you feel from women that try to explain what they want in a man can be chopped down to the main point of this article. Men need not be so damn flexible and simple. If you find yourself reinventing who you are constantly to appease your woman then you are doing her a disservice. Compromise out of respect but don’t become a doormat. The character Hoyt Fortenberry in HBO’s True Blood is a great example of the right kind of “Nice Guy”. Hoyt is fiercely in love with his woman but he is a man, he will do anything for her but she can’t walk all over him. He’s a gentle giant but a giant nonetheless, it’s not complicated fellas.

Now take these lessons home and make me proud, stop trying so hard to be the perfect man!

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • This was on point! What I find is that mean don’t speak whats really on there mind as much as women do. I tell women constantly that if you think you have put up with so much from your man guess how much your man has put up with with not saying anything. If you get into the zone of understand the difference between just appeasing a woman and being a bit understanding(which is a very thin line) you will be able to keep your sanity and still have a healthy relationship

  • Frank

    True. We have to be ourselves. Compromise is saying you are ready to check your family jewels at the door. Be yourself….the bird may fly but she will return to the roost of a real man.

  • Nessa

    Very good points! I don’t think any woman really wants a Yes Ma’am kind of guy. I sure as shit don’t. Just like I learned at a past job that numbers don’t lead, they follow, it’s the same principle. Focus on what it is you want, and someone suitable will turn up. Trying to be the nice guy will just make you the bitter guy who complains about being Friend Zoned.

  • Christopher C

    they just want a “fucking paycheck” that’s all…