The reason why a man chooses to fade away versus telling you he doesn’t like you:
One of the biggest disconnects between man and woman is a man’s innate wont to protect and defend women. Let me explain, when recently I wrote about men forgoing chivalry due to women acting badly a couple of women came forward to say it should be done regardless. While I agree with this for men that were raised to behave a certain way (knights), I do warn that this also leads men to behave in other ways that these same women would not agree with. One issue that comes with a respectful man is his inability to tell a woman that he doesn’t like her. Why is this you may ask? Because just like he opens doors for her, walks on the outside of sidewalks, and does his best to protect her as the “stronger sex” – he also doesn’t want to hurt her feelings from rejection.
“Women are conditioned to believe that men lack feelings”
The Marksman refers to this activity as the fade-away, and being that he runs a sports blog, I can definitely understand the basketball analogy. Men and women are guilty of the fade-away, but men and women do it for different reasons. I honestly do not believe that a woman cares for the random man’s feelings enough to fade-away versus telling him she’s not interested. I know for a fact however that men do it because they can’t stand confrontation which could hurt a woman’s feelings – which takes us back to chivalry again. Now this isn’t to say that all women are coldhearted harpies, but rather that it’s the norm to ignore guys if you have so many trying to speak with you throughout your life. Women are conditioned to believe that men lack feelings, so in turn they don’t care as much to tell you to get lost.
I’ve seen women call men cowards that stopped returning calls and started becoming “too busy” rather than telling them to go to hell. This “coward” so-to-speak is the same guy that you’re praising for being such a gentleman when you were the light of his life. This isn’t an issue with a Wolf, because wolves do not give a rat’s ass about a woman’s feelings – especially if he’s gotten what he wanted. The Wolf’s fade-away is much different than regular guys, because a woman will feel that there is a chance with regular guy after he starts blowing her off whereas the Wolf is a straight up asshole about it.
One of the main things that men get in constant trouble with women is that we don’t do well in situational code switching. As men we tend to be very methodical so you either get all or nothing, and being that we have no “female intuition”, you’re going to get a lot of bad for our good. So to expect the same guy that has been so nice to you throughout your dates to tell you that he is no longer interested after you’ve made yourself ugly in his eyes seems a bit unrealistic in the grand scheme of things. Now I fully expect some guy to hop on here and claim that he is the magical White Knight that can treat a maiden well and switch gears to tell her to move along when it’s time but in actuality THAT guy is a rarity.
Help The Knight Out and Dump Him!
So the next time you have a man not returning your calls, or returning them late and not pushing the issue on dates then chances are he isn’t feeling you and trying (in his own twisted way) to spare you the rejection. Ironically women reject us our entire lives up until we find one that is permanent, but men are the ones who worry about rejecting women. Like I stated, this goes back to a man’s innate wont to protect women from danger. Call it what you will but these men aren’t cowards, these men are just typical.
Look, it’s simple really – If he’s not calling you back then chalk it up to the game, he’s no longer interested or is losing interest fast. Help us help you and call the relationship a wrap. A White Knight will not push the knife in even if he is asked because in his mind he is protecting you from the hurt. You wanted chivalry, well there’s your chivalry and closure is not a real word in the man dictionary.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.