I was talking to my best friend the other day, and we came upon the subject of love and whether or not true, all-consuming-can’t-live-without-each-other, love really exists. We unanimously decided that the answer is no.
As women, we are sold the fairy tale of a one true love. A man who will travel the world to get you back after he screws up. A man who will break up a wedding in order to have the woman he really truly can’t be without. He will profess his love for her to the public and make an ass of himself just to prove to her he’s willing to do anything to have her.
This fantasy of so-called “true” love is the death of happiness for women, as it is unreachable and does not exist. Real relationships are based on love (not being in love), trust, understanding and a special companionship shared between two people.
Lets face it, growing old with someone means that at some point you will no longer be attracted to them and what you will have left is just that – love, trust, understanding and a special companionship. Being in love with someone and staying in love with them is very rare. But loving someone can last forever.
I blame the movies
So many of these Romance Comedies are catered to women and they are all the same formula. Girl meets Guy; Girl falls for Guy; Guy does something really terrible to make Girl mad; Girl tries to date someone else who is perfect on paper but can’t stop thinking about Guy; Girl decides she should marry the someone else; Guy realizes he really does love Girl; Guy waits till the very last minute to tell Girl how he feels and she is forced to break the someone else’s heart because now she gets to have her true love. The one who ran full speed through traffic so he wouldn’t be too late to tell her to her face how much he can’t live without her. Blah Blah Blah..
Women are sold this fantasy since elementary school and we spend our adult lives wishing it would happen to us. When it doesn’t happen, we blame ourselves wondering what’s wrong with us and why we can’t have that type of love. Then we decide that the one man who has been there for us, will do anything for us, and who loves us, is not enough, because he doesn’t ditch his friends to spend more time.
What women need to do is wake up. Realize that relationships are not all rainbows and unicorns.
Movies are written by someone, they are not real life. The fire doesn’t always burn as hot as it did during the first few months when your sex was still considered some “strange” to him.
True love is what you make of it
What women need to do is define their own brand of happy and stick with it, rather than letting some man with a laptop on his couch write their love standard for them. If you enjoy your time with your guy and your relationship makes you happy, keep him. If he loves you and you know it, keep him.
Let the natural growth of your relationship be your standard and you just might stay happy forever.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.