It’s amazing how we men are known for our egos but when I hear the way a woman talk about sex you would think that the game was flipped and we (men) were truly the ones who play shy and innocent about our sexual inhibitions. Recently I was listening to an excellent podcast by Hall denizen Up4Dsn (Up 4 Discussion) and his partner (Goddess Intellect I think…) was saying how hard she would go at fixing the issue if she found out that she couldn’t make her man orgasm. This gave me pause as I remembered the many discussions I have had with women about the very same subject and felt I needed to respond.
Women stop assuming, it’s always about you!
There are many reasons for a guy to freeze up on orgasm, very rarely does it have to do with you being horrible at sex, or not sexy. Hell if a man really needs to pop off, he can ask you not to move, close his eyes and remember his co-worker with that nice bubble booty and within a few minutes it’s over. So to assert that it is an oddity in the man or you being the cause of his inability to close is a flawed notion. It’s your ego, misconceptions and misinformation leading you to think this way – trust me you’re fine, that man may have his own personal issue to work through in order to Peter North all over your… wait… sorry.
“I can never orgasm with her!”
Now if a man owns up to a confession like this, then this is a problem that may have no solution. I have found that you can put a lot out of your mind like looks, setting and situation but there are some factors that may come into play to cause this that the guy is too embarrassed to admit to.
Some of these factors could be:
- It’s not you it’s the condom (Some dudes can’t finish with a noose around the boy)
- Fear and loathing (Ever get close and imagine being stuck with a baby mama for 18 years?)
- Smell (Tuna cat!)
- Texture (Hotdog in a hallway… echo, eCHO, ECHOOOO!)
- Body type (I am imagining Venus Williams but you feel like Gabourey Sidibe)
- Noise (How can we tell you that you sound like a drowning ferret in bed?)
- Empty tank (Damn she’s never horny, why did she want sex the day I fapped to hours of porn?)
Will we admit any of this to you? Probably after it becomes too frustrating to continue – but if the guy likes having sex with you, regardless of having to finish himself off later or not, he will never admit it. So to take it personally is not really being fair to yourselves lady, if your man (or booty call) is a repeat visitor, then you’re doing quite fine trust me.
If you find yourself doing a lot of extra with the challenge of making sure your man finishes, then you are trying too hard and you’re going to be frustrated. Kill the ego and get yours, if dude doesn’t finish then let him chill and jump him later. Anxiety is a mother f—- and you never know what’s going on up there, or even down there. At the end of the day just remember that it’s rarely about you or your inability to move your hips like Phoenix Marie.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.